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Title: Woke up very Angry Post by: NYMike on December 24, 2014, 06:43:09 AM Well hello everyone.I am day 11 NC.
I woke up pissed off and slept like crap.I am ANGRY and I feel it in my guts and in my soul.I am riddled with resentment. I was told anger is my buddy right now.It sure feels like hell inside me.I dress up well and appear cool but I am burning inside. At all cost I can't ''lashout''.If I do NYMIKE will be in Jail. I am pissed off for being used by her.I was manipulated into believeing she was ''in love with me''.She told me everything i wanted to hear and seemed so sincere.She then got money out of me. She then took the money and never came back like she promised.I caught her in so many Lies and Deception on that Sunday. When confronted she blamed me and said ''see you don't love me'' you never did.That was close to the last word from her.That hurt me for her to say such a thing. I sent some anger texts and now I have an OOP from the police and she is running around telling people I am a sick man and it is 100% my fault. I am so f-----g angry this morning and want to confront her on all her BS.I want her to see what she did to me and the trauma I am going through. Under this anger is so much hurt and pain.I never thought she was capable of such an abusive behavior and doing me dirty this way. Yesterday I was sick.I did not care if I went to jail.I was going to confront her and tell her what she is all about.I almost did it and then I would be in jail today on a 5,000 bail. Thank God I called a friend and he walked me through staying NC. Title: Re: Woke up very Angry Post by: MrConfusedWithItAll on December 24, 2014, 06:56:25 AM We have all been there. Angry with them. Angry with yourself. Confused and hurt. They projected their pain and now you caught it and it really hurts. It gets easier. Stay NC. You will recover but remember they are not likely to surmount the disorder.
Title: Re: Woke up very Angry Post by: hope2727 on December 24, 2014, 09:07:36 AM I was really angry last night but today I am sad. My friend told me last night that the anger isn't affecting him (the ex) at all. It is however poisoning me. He has a point. I decided to poison myself with some good Zin and brie instead. Much better result.
I hope you can find some peace today. We all deserve a happy holiday with no more BPD BS. We loved them to the best of our abilities and they we unable to reciprocate. Let them go and live their lives while we go live ours. Please tell me that when I am debating calling him later lol Hugs all |