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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Heldfast on February 09, 2015, 08:04:07 AM



Title: Cleaning House
Post by: Heldfast on February 09, 2015, 08:04:07 AM
Just got rid of all photos of us on phone, computer, etc. Broke no contact to send them all to her, saying "These are all yours now, I am deleting." Almost 8 weeks out. That hurt, but I feel better for doing it.


Title: Re: Cleaning House
Post by: Matt8888 on February 09, 2015, 08:14:31 AM
Man, we must have got dumped the exact same week right before Christmas.

I need to do the same thing.  I still have pictures of her on my phone and computers.  Still have her phone number "just in case".  I know when I delete those a sense of finality will hit that scares me.

What if I forget what she looks like?  It would be for the best really.  I just hate to admit I wasted so much on her.

How did you feel after getting rid of everything?


Title: Re: Cleaning House
Post by: Heldfast on February 09, 2015, 09:29:11 AM
Right now I feel very good about it. I have been slowly but surely erasing her from my life, because it hurts to much to contemplate what was and that there is no fixing it. I deleted her number from my phone, but have it memorized so no real worry of ever not knowing who calls. She's moved on, I have to as well. Yes, She broke our engagement on December 15, and was gone December 22. Went from loving me, even telling me after engagement broken that she loved me, a week later, she hated me, and hates me still. I will never forget what she looks like, which sucks, I wish I could forget ever knowing her it really does hurt that much. The sick thing is, I still love her, but not this her. Unfortunately, this version, the hateful version, is what I have to deal with. I'd be her most steadfast supporter if she wanted help. Since she does not, I have to be my own most steadfast supporter and help myself.


Title: Re: Cleaning House
Post by: Matt8888 on February 09, 2015, 09:56:59 AM
I feel for you man.  She talked me into an engagement too.  Bought a ring and everything.  I knew what I was dealing  with and knew it would never go through.  In fact, was trying to formulate a plan to end things.  In fact I did end things a day before ultimately ended it for good.  I wish I ended it on my terms as I felt better about who had the power.

It has been much more difficult than I ever imagined.  She was on pof the same night we were done.  Has a big list of orbiters right now.  Don't think she will contact me again and I really hope she doesn't as that would just mean more pain.

I hope I get the courage to do what you did.  Maybe today even :)