BPDFamily.com

Hey guys, I want to let you know that I have not written on this forum for months. I have actually been working on myself a lot lately. Let me tell you a little bit about my story. In the beginning of last year, I met a beautiful girl, we ended up dating for five months. In during those five months there have been massive ups And downs. During those months, I did a lot of research regarding her personality and I found this site and concluded that she has borderline personality disorder. My mother is also a marriage and family therapist and has also diagnosed her as being a borderline. So one night I decided to end the relationship with her. She would just change her emotions so drastically without any explanation. I changed my emotions very drastically as well in the past, However, I was able to resolve my issues and at least overcome them and eventually communicate them to her. So then I broke up with her, I went home, went to sleep, felt great and in the morning I felt horrible. I ended up calling her back and saying that I made a huge mistake lets give this another try. We ended up just acting like a couple after that. Another 5 to 6 months go by, and during these months it has been pure hell for me. The manipulations, the games, the massive guilt trips. I started to realize that I was becoming her puppet. I wasn't able to just walk away until one night. I found closure. How? I can't really explain it, but something in my brain clicked. We were out to dinner, we got in an argument, and her actions after the dinner, Resulted in me getting in my car driving home and not speaking with her. I am on my 10th week of no contact. The reason why I decided to get my car in drive away, was because she did not want to talk about our issue that night we had that dinner. In other words, she was too childish to acknowledge that I have a problem with the way she was acting. She was like a little kid, scared to find a solution. And that's all I wanted. I was able to walk away that night because I realized that this person cannot Live a life filled with solutions. She can only live a life with problems and unless she seeks professional help, she will not be able to have a long lasting normal relationship. Unfortunately it took me 5 to 6 months after the break up to realize that she was an extremely unhealthy person for me. It depends on the person, we all need our closure. But you have to think long and hard, about the future. If I want to ask you to describe your relationship and you told me a sentence that involved the word "miserable," you end the relationship immediately! Miserable should never be in your vocabulary when you are in a relationship. I hope this helped you out, like a lot of us, I learned the long and painful way. Your happiness comes first, always. Never forget that.

If my Bpd had ever left me alone for 2 months I would have detached and got away.

The longest period of time was about 2 weeks, then she'd always come back texting, wanting to talk etc etc etc.

It was a case of I wanted her to leave me alone but I didn't have the strength to ignore her when she contacted me, so that's how this all kept going this whole time. I got to a stage where I had no issues not reaching out to her, it was just that when she'd reach out to me i'd cave.

Obviously I am currently back with her but the last couple of days have not been good. I'm not feeling well today as she is not communicating well the last couple of days, whenever this happens i'm left fighting off bad memories of devaluation etc.

WHY ARE YOU BACK WITH HER?