BPDFamily.com

Where is makinmecrazy. She last posted on 8/9/2010 that I know of. Makinmecrazy posted about her 60 year old husband.  

I've been married to a BPD man for 27 years.  I've recently straightened out the "bad" in my life and it's like being a new person.  One problem:  my husband is not able to change.  He is 65 years old and if leave him now, I feel like I am running out on someone who needs help.  He has bad knees and refuses to go for shots.  Just recently, he said he is going for the shots so that he can stop eating ibuprofen.  I know he is full of it.  He is afraid of going to the doctors.  He can blow up at the simplest problem.  Nowadays, even though he still works, most of his leisure time is in front of the TV watching the depressing news.  All he does is complain about how messed up Obama is and the world.  I told him if he continues to keep watching that garbage he is going to wind up miserable (Actually, he already is).  It's not even funny.  I have been going to a therapist and he is a Christian counselor but believes that I have been verbally abused for years.  I am an A hole if I don't follow driving instructions that he believes to be better than the instructions that I have been following for years.  Anybody relate?  I'd love to know that I am not along.  

Hello and welcome, nlk!

First of all nope... .you are not alone. My H, in fact, sits around all day reading news stories on the Internet, refuses to go to a doctor, and yes... .sometimes I am the A hole if I don't drive the way he thinks I should, or play a video game the same way... .or heck even if I like a different condiment on my cheeseburger!

I'm sorry you have found yourself in BPDland, but there is hope :) We all here know exactly what's going on. When you can... .read the lessons here to start changing how you guys communicate together. That's a big first step. Another thing to remember... .as a suggestion I would not mention this site or BPD to your spouse. It's most likely going to cause a dysregulation... .which is one of those fits they are famous for throwing.

The first thing to remember their actions are from mental disorder, and they really don't mean to, and probably don't want to. It's born from fear of abandonment and self-shame. Don't take any of the sillyness they spew to heart. What they say one minute might be completely different 5 minutes after. For them feelings=fact, and that's why it's so frustrating for us.

Here is makinmecrazy's last thread: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=155706.msg1498220#msg1498220