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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Simbou44 on May 07, 2015, 10:42:16 PM



Title: drugs and ultimatum
Post by: Simbou44 on May 07, 2015, 10:42:16 PM
Ever since she started doing speed all the time ever since 3 weeks ago she has not been herself. She was in psychosis for a while it was bad but now she is not angry but the crazy stories or accusation without any proof what so ever and and the fact that its irrational is still there ligering cause i think its because shes still using. Im fed up n i want to leave but i really love her and i know her so well cause we really connected. My question is if she refuse to stop doing speed what should i do? How should i say it because i dont want to give her an ultimatum? Im sad and im tired of being sad or stress by this.  Or if you have a suggestion? thank you


Title: Re: drugs and ultimatum
Post by: EaglesJuju on May 09, 2015, 09:13:56 AM
HI Simbou44,

I am sorry that you are going through this. It is very difficult coping with both substance abuse and BPD behaviors. 

How long has she been using speed?

Have you spoken with her about getting into treatment ? I find that ultimatums tend to not be effective. When you are coping with someone who has a two pronged issue, such as mental illness and substance abuse an ultimatum can exacerbate things. From my experience, my pwBPD ended up projecting and becoming very angry when I gave him an ultimatum.  Learning communication techniques can really help with discussing difficult issues. Here is an article for you to look at.

Communication tools (SET, PUVAS, DEARMAN) (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0)

Do you think that her current psychosis could be a part of withdraw or her mental illness?