BPDFamily.com

I have know heard it all!  In an email exchange( bc she has been blocked for months on my cell) with my uBPDew she throws out the line "I know longer have to walk on eggshells anymore" referring to her.   In my response I asked if she had read a book about herself because of what terms she used.  Her response was that she read a book about me.  I have no heard it all.  I had to immediately share that info with my current GF who is a psychologist who 1st told me about my ex and BPD just from hearing our phone conversations told me "that's claasic projection".  Has anyone else been told that they are the ones with BPD from there ex?

Oh and our couples therapist who the ex and I saw as a couple and individualy was the one who told me and now her about the egg shell book.  And for th record I ask my therapist if I had BPD when I 1st learned about it from my GF and she said no not at all.   I just have to shake my head. 

So does my ex now know she has BPD or a lot of the traits and is in denial?  Crazy!

My ex didn't tell me I had BPD, but he did tell me often that I was crazy, a megalomaniac, manipulative, a liar, egocentric, self-absorbed, self-centered, unstable, bipolar, schizophrenic, paranoid, psychotic.

I'm sure if he spent more time reading the DSM, I would've heard more accurate diagnoses since some of the things he accused me of seemed a bit vague.

Do you have kids with your ex? How do you handle these messages when you receive them?

Nope, not me.  I have schizoid personality disorder, according to her.  My therapist (trained in personality disorders) disagrees, which is why she wanted me to find a better therapist.

I also have ADHD/AADD, although my therapist disagrees.

And I have a mental disorder that causes me to misremember things.  I imagine that she said/did something inappropriate.  Fortunately, she remembers everything and is able to correct me.

Gomez

I have 3 kids 13,11,6 with ex.  I don't respond to 80% of her emails and when I do I usually don't answer every BS question she asks.   

I am not at all sure what my ex's smear campaign was comprised of, but I know that there WAS one it it was effective to have all of her family and friends (nodding acquaintances in some cases) unfriend and block me on social media. My cousin remained friends with her son for a while until he referred to me as 'psycho' ... .then I knew!

uBPDw has accused/diagnosed me of/as NPD, OCD, ADHD, Autism, (Gomez; yes! I have that "misremember things" disorder too!).  Also a manipulator, and passive-aggressive. (you pretty much are forced to deal with a pwBPD with passiveness!)

Of course, my therapist also disagrees with all of these "diagnoses".

In fact: I am a codepenent, (that's on me), and I have been depressed, and suffered from adjustment disorder. (because I live with uBPDw).

I can definitely be passive-aggressive.  I'm sure there's some depression, and there's definitely anxiety from time to time.

I just want this over.  If all goes well, in the next 45 days she'll be back on a plane.  I'll be in bad shape financially, but that's relative.  I'm employed, will have a retirement account, and some savings.  My dreams and goals will change... .but that's the consequences of how I handled this marriage.

I'll heal.  I'll grow.  And the best revenge will be living well and not caring how she's doing.

Gomez

Wow I have to agree OP it is classic projection. I have heard that I am selfish before, and that was it. I dont think he had too much negative to "diagnos" me with because, I wouldnt give him any.

My ex has told me I am manipulative, abusive, aggressive, threatening, bipolar, asked the judge to order me in a batterers program, retaliatory, etc. My shrink told me I have PTSD and told me I just don't have the genetics to have a PD since I didn't develop problems in childhood, basically its too late for me to develop serious personality issues that I haven't had before. They are just constant projectors.

Yep, my first thought was projection too.

My ex, always said, I yell at her (most time really is just being impatient with a look, same voice, but it's yelling to her) or I have bad temper.   

I find the best way to protect myself against her is shut up and not talk, then she can't accuse me of anything, but if I react in anyways, that's bullets I give to her to shoot me back while ignoring what caused my reaction in the first place.

Yes, this too!  I have been accused of laughing at her, when I had a totally flat, straight face, and I was just shutting my d__n mouth, because I didn't want to make things worse.

She accuses me of coming home from work, walking in the door, looking at her with an angry look on my face. "oh, the kids notice it too!"  (I ask the kids, separately, later, in private, they have no idea what she's talking about).