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Title: What works for your relationship with BPD? Post by: jcl76 on May 19, 2015, 06:58:16 PM Hi,
I wanted to ask advice from 2 different point of views, from NON-BPD, and BPD in relationships. Primarily a romantic partner. What are some items, boundries, etc, that work best for you, and why? Title: Re: What works for your relationship with BPD? Post by: vortex of confusion on May 19, 2015, 07:25:38 PM That's a loaded question. :)
In all seriousness, that is a difficult question to answer. And, it has been a work in progress. I have been with my spouse for 17 years and I don't know that there is one thing that works best. It is almost like being married to a child in that when I think I have something figured out, something will change. Do you have a specific situation in mind? Title: Re: What works for your relationship with BPD? Post by: waverider on May 19, 2015, 08:34:32 PM Large chunks of quality "me" time. It allows all the ripples of any dramas to subside rather than carrying them onto the next issue.
Title: Re: What works for your relationship with BPD? Post by: Infern0 on May 19, 2015, 08:37:46 PM It's early days into this recycle. But the main thing I have found so far is to concentrate on myself and what I'm doing and prioritize that. Generally my BPD doesn't "play up" when I'm centered. However if I start coming apart at the seams and become uncentered in myself that's when she starts pushing.
Title: Re: What works for your relationship with BPD? Post by: Stalwart on May 19, 2015, 10:19:14 PM Hey Jcl76:
Wow, fantastic question and challenging to really summarize down to specifics. As a non I'd have to say that what's worked best for me and our situation has to primarily be learning and secondly putting that learning into positive interactions both with considering my own needs and also meeting the needs of my spouse in healthy ways. Boundaries, well I have my own philosophy on boundaries and have few in place because I so believe that an adult should make their own decisions and live with them. If something governs the boundaries we have in place I wouldn't consider a boundary that I wouldn't also put on myself and also have the same expectations of myself in keeping them. That's interesting though and I'm going to follow up and ask my BPD wife this same question and see what that brings to the conversation. Great question JCL. Title: Re: What works for your relationship with BPD? Post by: Verbena on May 20, 2015, 12:16:55 AM What works best for me to keep it simple. I interract with my husband when I have to, and I try to be civil to him. I find that when I try to share very much with him, he becomes even more negative and inwardly angry and miserable to be around. The more minimal our contact is, the happier I am.
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