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I had been doing so well. I am getting out and having fun. I am in better shape and I am feeling more and more like my old self again. Getting another promotion at work soon and talking to a very nice (sane) girl who I have a lot of common interests in. Things were great and I was beginning to feel like I was finally over the worst.

I decided to check my social media to see what my friends were up to and I was looking at some old pictures. I happened to come across one of my old photos that had comments from my Bpdexgf. I thought that I had cleaned them all out a long time ago when I had here blocked but I guess I missed a couple. The comments were on a picture of me and her saying how handsome and sexy she thought I was. I noticed that even though I had here blocked that the comments stayed and had her most recent profile picture next to them. It was a picture saying "I   my marine" (my replacement was a ex marine). I saw that and it some old feelings resurfaced. My day went from great to bad pretty quick. I deleted the comments and resisted the urge to check anything else.

So many thoughts went through my head. How she lied about seeing someone else. How my best friend for over 20 years whom I was crying over her to was going behind my back and telling her everything I was saying while trying to sleep with her. The horrible things she said during our last argument. All the devaluation came and hit me like a brick to the head.

I am feeling a bit better now after some discussion with some family but I think I still have a ways to go before I can put those feelings behind me for good.

I am thankful for this site because in a way in feels like a sort of confession. I can write these feelings down and see them for what they are. I really hope I get better because if that one little thing could upset me then I don't know how I would react if I actually saw her. I truly hope I never see her again.

Hi Arcturus81,

I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day. I can understand how awful it would be to stumble across profile pictures and how it would evoke strong emotions. It has to be hard having a long time confidante; someone that you really trust hurt you like that. It shows he wasn't looking out fir how it would make you feel. I think you have the right idea that it takes time and behind begin us and we may have certain triggers. It's good to hear things are generally positive  |iiii

I am working hard on recovering from the toxic fallout and abandoned feelings that will always be there.

Avoiding triggers is a must, at least for me, so I do not / no longer engage via any social media. Anything that might incite a melancholy feeling, longing for, or memory has to be ignored for as long as it takes. Since I have been off social media, temptation to fall back has weakened considerably.  I read posts from so many who are suffering that cannot find willpower to stop spying on or going to look for indications of their ex's activities.

I think we would all be a lot better off if there were no such thing as Facebook.

Thank you and you both are right. I need to quit with the social media. I think I will just stick with this site until I feel confident enough to use other social media again.