BPDFamily.com

Here I am 8 months down the road.

8 Months ago I reached the end of patience with her.

She was living off me and flew into a rage every time the subject of paying her way was brought up. She was in full time employment and contributed zero to the household or relationship.

From the start of us living together, she would disappear, over night or for 2-3 days, saying nothing of where she was and she expected me to somehow ok with that. I was working on a lucrative contract that took me away from home, but gave us a good life style and had tremendous long term prospects - but she then criticised that although she was fed, watered, no bills to pay she was not seeing any of the money !

She moved into the spare room on my birthday, and was living in the most disgusting mess, unhygienic stench. Actions spoke louder than words as for my 50th - a landmark birthday she could not even cook or prepare a meal for one night for me, or take me out citing she had no money - instead it was a blazing row and she was more concerned that what she had cooked for herself was getting cold. She was meant to be doing a charity bike ride the weekend following birthday, but whilst doing the charity bike ride she stayed in a hotel in the next village with another woman for two nights in a premier double room. (I only found this out when I kicked her out finally)

After that my civility towards her starting going down and I started to look after me and my daughter's welfare and putting that as a priority, I signed myself off work as I was incapable of doing my job and started on self care. We took up cycling and started riding and doing 10 odd miles most days. This was my life line - it kept my sanity from the crazy - released endorphins and I started getting fitter, healthier.

I Was being painted blacker blacker. She organised a two week holiday with her son, I was not old about it until the morning she left ! - and this was again with another woman who was also her plus one at a wedding they both attended !

In September we went out for a meal and tried to chat - again this was like talking to a 5 year old. She had no concept of adult relationships and her immaturity defied belief. It ended with me telling her in no uncertain terms that her whole life was one big lie and the only true things about her was her name - this hit a nerve as she took a bottle of gin upstairs with her and shut herself in her room.

She had been on borrowed time a long time, I was forever giving her second chances and she continued with the lying, taking at every opportunity she had, cheating (which I had my suspicions of), silent treatment which went on for days, manipulation, breadcrumbs etc.

Over time the mask had dropped and I guess I had fallen out of love with her. I had asked her to leave a number of times but she ignored it just like requests to contribute to the house. Her reasoning was I was profiteering !.

Eventually after a final discussion and her true motives came out I told her she had to go. in two days her behaviour was extreme and both my grown up children were concerned for my welfare and safety as well as that of our dogs.

After the last final lie which opened up a can of worms, the locks were changed, her stuff was moved to the garage and she had 7 days in which to get it moved.

She was already under police caution for threatening behaviour and trespass 6 months prior.

The last of her stuff went and cue the start of stalking, turning up all hour at the house, ranting, raging - all of which I ignored and just logged. She made it so easy for me to get her out of my life. She just chipped away at whatever love there was until it was all gone. She was told this time after time, and she continued to do it - which also said a lot to me.

It got so bad I moved a few hundred miles away, after starting gossip in the village saying I was doing something different etc.

I am now living my life in relative peace. The cyber stalking continues, and every incidence is logged. All No Caller ID's are screen shotted, all fake FB accounts logged. I have CCTV and live where neighbours keep a close eye on each others houses.

My career has taken off, my life has improved no end. My mental health is 1000000 x better, I am now cycling 40 odd miles most days and I raise money for charity doing long distance bike rides. My life is getting back to how it was before I got involved with her. I am not ready to date - that is the furtherest thing from my mind, but I have a social life, great friends and I love everything about my life.

Do I know or care what she is doing - not at all - she killed the love stone dead - and I feel sorry for the next woman or current - who knows - they have no idea what is coming. I am living my life for me and my grown up kids and that is all that matters