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Telling my wife I love her forces her to reduce contact

But she can't see this 

This is not normal behavoir

No it's not normal behaviour, I have the exact same problem with my "girlfriend"

Every time we get close or do or say anything meaningful I know i won't be hearing from her for a couple of days!

it's push/pull fear of intimacy at play.

we can be messaging on whats app and if i say i love you she is suddenly busy

I used to experience this. I think it's part of the push/pull trait

I would like to offer a slightly different perspective. There was a period of time when my husband said "I love you" at the drop of a hat. He would say it every chance he got. It got to a point where it irritated the snot out of me. It irritated me because it was just words. In one breath, he would say "I love you" and in the next breath he would reject me. His actions didn't match his words. It is worth seeing if there is any possibility of that.

If I didn't say "I love you" often enough, he would resort to "you never tell me you love me". I know that my situation is on the opposite end of what is being described. I feel like my husband was looking to me for validation. He could only love himself if I loved him and constantly reminded him of it. I am an odd female in that 

I am wondering if the "I love you" is pushing her away because she doesn't feel worthy of love. It isn't meant as some kind of push/pull but it could be seen as being invalidating. How could you possibly say "I love you" when she isn't feeling it at all? In another thread, didn't you mention that she hasn't felt the love since January or something? (I apologize if I have it mixed up.)