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Last months were hard for my bf, now last weeks, he was pushing me away.

Now he talks about stupid reasons why he doesnt love me anymore 'for a while'.

Changed his relation state on fb, ( not the first time)

And 5 minutes before he is saying its all hard for him to...

All this weeks i knew he still love me, just another episode and now... .I dont know it anymore, feel myself collapsing  :'(

I can only imagine that this is incredibly hard for you... .actually it does not take much imagination. What are you doing to respect yourself and set your own boundaries? How well do the two of you communicate about these issues? Please take care of yourself, no collapsing. If you have to leave, leave. But if you feel you can work a little more to see if there's a way to keep going, make sure you have the support you need in place, including friends, therapists, and time to decompress. Good luck!

Hi,

Thanks for answering.

Its my house with his furnitures we are living in, so i cant leave.

At this moment its hard to communicate.

When he is not in this kind of storm, we can talk about his behavior.

Its difficult now to know if he is meaning it or not... .

Do what you can for you then. There are some good hints on here for communicating, and also online, such as at www.BPDcentral.com/blog/?Tips-for-Communicating-with-Someone-With-Borderline-Disorder-8. Boundaries at some point have to be a must. Dialectic is a tool I have used in dealing with other BPDs, didn't learn it in time to deal with my own before she was gone (didn't suspect BPD until she was already two weeks out and had moved across country). Are you getting any kind of support from outside the relationship?

A few friends, but most of them dont understand borderline so they say: just kick him out... .

Stay with us here then, we can help a little. A therapist if you can afford it, particularly one with a background in BPD work. And find that one solid friend who has an ear you can talk off if need be, who is willing to review your notes and learn a little on BPD so that when you discuss it, they understand you. I was lucky enough to have both a therapist, and her former best friend, who also wanted to know what the hell had just happened to her bestie that she'd leave me (we got engaged around the same time), and abandon her while she was planning her wedding and my ex was supposed to be her maid of honor.

One friend has borderline herself, that 'helps' a little.

Cant afford one I think and at this point he thinks i'm the problem so

As long as you know that you aren't the problem. I had to get out and do productive things for myself, try new things, stay out of the house, have fun but also pursue things that would help me grow as a person. In so doing, I was able to help a few friends with BPD, who came out of the woodwork to tell me that they understood, and how sorry they were. I was also able to make new friends, get some new adventures under my belt, and feel stronger than I did when she was with me. Since you two are still together physically, maybe those things will be noticed and they'll come back along for the ride? But if not, you'll be a better you anyway, and ready to handle the slings and arrows with a touch more resilience than you would have otherwise believed possible.

Its not the first time like this but 

Not used to posted on a messageboard, loong time ago

And English isnt my first language

I was also told that I am the problem. When BPD is in control, you're going to hear a lot of different things. As was said before, take care of you. One of the things that can help take care of you is to read everything in the Lessons sticky. That can help you to begin to get some ground under your feet.