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Title: Trying to see the long view but really having problems Post by: Daniell85 on August 24, 2015, 02:07:47 PM I am trying to see the long view of the situation, but I am tripping over my own emotions. It's been over a week since I had any contact with him, and every time I consider trying to talk to him about my boundaries I start getting the sick feeling in my stomach and chest.
I don't even know where to begin. Title: Re: Trying to see the long view but really having problems Post by: MaroonLiquid on August 24, 2015, 02:50:53 PM The first few times are difficult. It takes practice. You have to believe in the boundary to set it. You have to be strong enough to stick to it. I know that feeling in the pit of the stomach. It's fear. its that feeling of, "What if they don't come back?" "What if they throw a fit?" Expect pushback. it's calld an extinction burst to test the boundary. Expect it will happen. They want to see where your boundary is. The easy thing to do is set the boundary, walk away if you have to, and let them deal with the feelings and emotions of it.
Title: Re: Trying to see the long view but really having problems Post by: Daniell85 on August 24, 2015, 05:43:05 PM After all of this, I am doubtful for real that the man actually knows what a boundary is. He lives his own life willy nilly, like they don't exist.
I am curious how to encourage him to create boundaries of his own. |