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Title: Trying to detach Post by: 10Isgirl on September 16, 2015, 02:56:51 AM The roller coaster ride has been almost 4 years. It gets worse every time we "try again".
I feel I'll thinking of the lies and betrayal but walking away for good is more strength then I have. Why is this so? I am a smart, fit, active women with plenty of interest from other suitors. Title: Re: Trying to detach Post by: an0ught on September 17, 2015, 03:12:15 PM Hi 10Isgirl,
I feel I'll thinking of the lies and betrayal but walking away for good is more strength then I have. Why is this so? I am a smart, fit, active women with plenty of interest from other suitors. this is a question worth some time pondering about and often it takes quite some time for people to figure parts of it out. But don't judge yourself too harshly . Pursuing the question may well teach you at some point thing your upbringing, other shaping influences including biological and who you are right now. For whatever reasons staying fulfills an important need for you. Right now you are staying - that carries a cost - you are paying it - no point in beating yourself up about the choice. Another choice would have been leaving - that also carries a cost. Fear and drama can often make it more difficult to look objectively at your relationship. Fear also activates the attachment system making it harder to walk. Take a look at the LESSONS and try to learn the basic skills to deal with a pwBPD - validation and boundaries. They are extremely valuable life skills in any case. They also help to reduce drama which may give you some space to think clearer *welcome*, a0 |