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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: enlighten me on September 27, 2015, 09:50:29 AM



Title: Son 2 very clingy to his mum
Post by: enlighten me on September 27, 2015, 09:50:29 AM
Over the past few weeks my son has become very clingy to his uBPD mum my exgf.

She has complained that he isn't sleeping very well and tried casting the blame my way by questioning how I was doing his night time routine.

I have been wondering whether it could be to do with her. She has recently finished with her boyfriend and Im wondering whether she is being clingy to him so he is reciprocating the behaviour.

Any thoughts on this?


Title: Re: Son 2 very clingy to his mum
Post by: Turkish on September 28, 2015, 12:03:38 AM
It's a good bet it has something to do with it. Now that his "competition" is out of the picture, he may be taking advantage of her new found availability. Asid from that, the change in routine is probably confusing. Is he the same with you, or stable?

I've seen differences between the homes. Sometimes my BIFF response is, "huh, they don't do that with me," and I leave it at that.


Title: Re: Son 2 very clingy to his mum
Post by: enlighten me on September 28, 2015, 12:10:10 AM
He is more cuddly at the moment. Likes to sit on me. I don't think her exbf was there much if at all with my son there as he lives elsewhere and his mum would go and visit him.

Apart from being cuddly he's just the same with me as always. He's happy, doesn't stop eating and Saturday night slept for 12 1/2 hours straight.


Title: Re: Son 2 very clingy to his mum
Post by: Turkish on September 28, 2015, 12:39:42 AM
What she's saying may be true at her home, and also she's likely projecting. You've raised your other kids through this age. Kids can be different, but you know the drill. The struggle sounds like her accusations and anxieties. BIFF the communications.


Title: Re: Son 2 very clingy to his mum
Post by: david on September 29, 2015, 05:41:19 AM
I've noticed that my xBPDw does this and it is usually projection on her part. Anything that is bothering her becomes one of our boys issues.



Title: Re: Son 2 very clingy to his mum
Post by: bravhart1 on September 29, 2015, 04:09:49 PM
David, what you said is so dead on. We are able to know exactly what is bothering mom by what stuff she puts in her ranting emails to us about SD6. She even goes as far as emailing to say step daughter is sick ( while she is with us for the week, so how she would know that is beyond me) when in fact it is mom who is sick. We have begun to respond at times with the phrase " I'm sorry you feel that way" it's our inside joke.

It's so hard to know what's really going on with the kiddos when they are with the other parent, I just go by how she seems with us and not put a lot of stock in what BPDm is saying it is usually so convoluted I can't make sense of it anyway.