BPDFamily.com

I have been in a relationship with a BPD male for almost 4 years. He was going through a horrific divorce and custody issues. I first starting seeing the BPD traits about 4 months into the relationship. Would not be over anything however would blame me for his money issues bad call from his attorney or xwife giving him trouble etc. It has been a rollercoaster ever since... .We broke up in 2012 after he literally abandoned my children and I in the home we rented together. Just one day decided everything wrong in his life was my fault and left the house. He emailed called relatives my husband and work colleagues to try and destroy my reputation. He even put me in the newspaper accusing me of stealing forgery etc. I did none of these things but I became the one to hate. I finally had to put a restraining order against him... .After about 6 months we slowly began seeing one another again. I know it was the wrong decision but none of it made sense at all. He went to therapy and tried a few meds to balance his "moods". We had a few more incidents but got through them... .Until two days ago when after a difficult decision to move in with him again-- we were engaged and getting married he threw us out again for NO reason just in a bad mood over. He called the police lied and said I stole money from him forged documents again etc etc I also found out he has been sleeping with his landlord during our relationship!  This was days after we moved in so I had to hire a moving company to move out. I am beside myself and know he is plotting some horrific plan to try to destroy me once again. I am a doctor in a small town and it's taking some time to reinstate my good reputation after his first bout of terror against me. I do not miss him this time. He is so vindictive and vengeful. Why? I honestly have not done a thing to set him off... .I need to somehow stop this and to let us move on. I am finally ready to get off the rollercoaster and stop worrying every minute that he will be in a bad mood etc and take it out on me.  I have moved out and realized he drive by late last night and while unpacking our things he has cut and stained clothes on purpose before sending back. It is baffling why he does this to me. I have been the only person in his life he can trust and has stood by him even though he has treated me terribly.he had no reason ever to not trust me.  We were engaged since June and until 2 days ago and he is already back with the less than savory landlord be she is the only other person in his life that listened to his BS.  His parents siblings won't speak to him and he has no friends left.   He was abused in prep school by a male teacher and also molested by a nonbiological aunt however consented to that for years... .

  Welcome to BPD family.

It sounds like you have really been pulled through the wringer.   I am so sorry you went through all of that, how exhausting and disheartening it sounds.

I remember when I first came here, I was so upset, confused... baffled, angry, in a state of panic. It really helped to read the introductory links ( at the top of this page) and to read through the lessons on the right side of this page.

Sometimes understanding what has been happening can bring a sense of relief. So many people here understand how it is, and a collective wisdom is right here for you to tap into.

This is the staying board. The other boards are the leaving and the undecided board. You will find people all over who can help support you and answer questions you might have.

Just ask  :)