|
Title: "If I Knew Then What I Know Now..." Post by: Turkish on October 19, 2015, 04:48:58 PM "... .I never would have left you."
We haven't been together for over two years now, and a little over 3 months from now will mark she having moved out two years ago. I don't even this is splitting of her new H, the guy she left me for. It's more the realization that "It's a lot different when you live together," as she said, though having lived with me for 6 years, she should have known better. I sensed that she may have wanted to talk more about it, but I shifted back to talk more about the kids. Her anxieties there are also triggered. Though seemingly normal at the lunch yesterday with the kids, she said that she had lapsed into a deep depression last month. I think it was over multiple things. She still refuses to try medication for her depression, which I think the T may have yet again suggested. She said that she hasn't been that depressed since she was pregnant with D3, which was the one time I saw that she was in SI (I still have the note to prove it, very bad). The kids were getting antsy in the car, so I invited her to call me later, which she did and we talked more. I'll give her credit for both her depression and anger issues returning, and trying to work on them for the sake of the kids. There is an "I told you so" in here somewhere, but that's childish. That all of this is the consequence of her foolish choices is a given. That she is the mother of our children and I need to be kind with her (with boundaries) is a fact. She is a human being as well. Fact. I'm not sure where she is going, but it concerns me. Title: Re: "If I Knew Then What I Know Now..." Post by: once removed on October 19, 2015, 07:35:20 PM i think it would be childish to say i told you so, certainly, but not to take some comfort from the expression. its nice to know youre thought of fondly, and she has regrets, ya know?
Title: Re: "If I Knew Then What I Know Now..." Post by: myself on October 19, 2015, 07:39:58 PM While expressing it now, she's likely been thinking/feeling it for awhile.
Bigger-picture stuff all around. Her seeing you're dedicated man, dad, etc. What are you most worried about? That she's going to 'lose it' again? Title: Re: "If I Knew Then What I Know Now..." Post by: Mutt on October 19, 2015, 07:44:23 PM Turkish, Excerpt “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown The grass is not always greener on the other side. I see it as your ex validating you as a good man. Title: Re: "If I Knew Then What I Know Now..." Post by: Turkish on October 19, 2015, 10:34:35 PM Yes, I am worried that she is going to lose it again. It's good that part of what prompted her to go back to her T was the way she treated S5, resulting in him being written up in school for biting another kid on the head. First incident ever. No excuses for our son, however, she triggered him. Probably a culimatuon of the whole situation. One thing I'm defintely not going to do is listen to her complain about her H. He has past anger issues as a child (he confirmed this to me the other week in a conversation, which confirmed what I thought when she first gave me a short bo of him the week I thought there was a slim chance we might work it out).
I really hope he's "past that" as he told me, and I think the goofy "Holy Man" schtick is the persona he's taken on to cope. I'm not going to worry about it though. Their home, their r/s. I almost think I should be angry, but I'm not. Just sad that someone who has so much potential threw everything away to chase yet another "The One," when in reality, he was just some random, goofy slickmeister she met clubbing when she should have been home with me and the kids. If we didn't have kids, I would have said good riddance. They, however, are the real victims in all of this, and I need to stay connected for their sakes. To be honest, when she told me all of this, I felt compassion for her. Let's hope that we make it through the winter with minimal drama. |