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I'm curious how people view their borderline romantic relationships. Are the good times worth putting up with the nonsense?

I'm guessing for the people here in the "staying" boards the answer is going to be mostly yes?

Affirmations :

Yes it is

I can cope

I find happiness outside my relationship

His happiness does not define my happiness

He is very warm and generous and this is not his fault

He is sad and sensitive and that's ok.

When it is good it is brilliant.

When it's bad it's not so good but, so far, I can cope.

Regular taking of meds seems to be helping.

I have a slightly different perspective on this, we, as a couple don't really have extreme good times or bad times anymore.

She has been in therapy.  I've been in therapy and coming here.   

My P used to say for every high there is a corresponding low.   Apparently my partner's P was saying the same thing.   :)   

I try to stay in the middle of the road now.   I actually get uncomfortable when I feel like we are drifting into idealization.   

I don't put up with a lot of nonsense either.  I do accept there are some limitations to the r/s.   For instance this week I had a bad time at work.   My partner would listen for a couple of minutes and make a good attempt at being supportive but that's not really her thing.   She tried but it didn't go too far.   I went and got support for the work crisis outside my r/s.

I guess viewing times as good/bad is my own version of black and white thinking.

I wonder about this often. Right now I just try to let it go and wait it out.

I have the mindset currently that I'll make hay while the sun shines - when it's stormy and cloudy, it's a good time to go do something else... .I've learned not to turn him away when he is tuned in and charming; and then to not participate when he is intent on spewing venom.

Sometimes easier said than done, but I don't attach his behavior at either end of the spectrum to myself. It's his deal.  But I will allow myself to enjoy the pleasant times.

Admittedly, still undecided about if it's worth it all though.

The good times are worth it, certainly.

Are the bad times hard? certainly.

What i realize lately, is that the hardest part of this all is not the up and downs themselves,

we can learn to deal with them better when we take good care of ourselves.

The worst is that you can't be sure of when the good times switch to bad times and when they swing back again,

Even during the good times you intuitively feel that the clock is ticking towards the next cataclysm.

That sums me up at the moment.

A feeling of impending doom at times!

That's what kept me going for so many years then it began to affect me physically and emotionally that i began to question my own sanity.  I began to realise the good times (which were becoming less and less) wasn't worth the increasing amount of pain and heartache that goes with this illness.

When the times are bad they are really, really bad and emotionally draining but I held on because of the good times and great memories.

I love my husband dearly but I've had to step away from him for a while before his illness completely broke me down

So at this moment even with the good times for me it's not worth it... .I just pray things change... .