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Title: When they try to isolate you Post by: IsItHerOrIsItMe on November 25, 2015, 11:53:08 AM I stopped by my brother's office (his wife works there as well) and talked with them for a half hour. Haven't seen them in a few weeks so we got caught up and discussed the other siblings that were in town for Thanksgiving.
When I get home my uBPDw goes into interrogation mode, requiring I tell her everything that was discussed. I give her the highlights, but then later that night relay another item that I remembered because of what we were discussing. She got angry because I didn't relay that tid-bit when she asked me what we talked about... . How do you all handle things like that... .like I'm supposed to regurgitate the entire conversation as soon as I got home, after all she's afraid we discussed my ex-wife and how everyone would prefer if I was still married to her... .and somehow since I 'hid' this tid-bit I'm obviously hiding that we discussed why everyone would prefer I never originally got divorced... . Title: Re: When they try to isolate you Post by: mstnghu on November 25, 2015, 12:23:01 PM Wow. You live my life! My wife does exactly the same thing. If she knows I had any sort of contact with any close friend or family member, she expects me to repeat back the ENTIRE conversation we had. It could've been the most mundane conversation and nothing serious was talked about at all but she still wants to know every single little detail. If I can't remember everything, she assumes I'm lying... .and thinks we must've been talking badly about her. It then starts a fight over absolutely nothing.
She goes through my phone every morning and night, reading all texts and checking my phone log too! I have nothing to hide so I let her have at it. If I want to have any kind of meaningful phone conversation with anybody, I have to call them from work so my wife doesn't know about it. The fact is, many of my phone conversations do end up being about her. My close friends and family members have already formed their own opinions about my wife based on the way she acts. None of them are big fans of her and I get to hear all about it. They all know not to call or text me because they don't want me to have to deal with her wrath. It's completely ridiculous and it's a s****y way to live. Title: Re: When they try to isolate you Post by: EaglesJuju on November 25, 2015, 02:11:46 PM Hi IsItHerOrIsItMe ,
I can understand how it is frustrating to constantly repeat yourself. I think there is an underlying theme to her being upset. From what I am getting, is your wife feels insecure and has poor self-esteem. I would wager that her wanting to know everything and being "involved" helps her think she is worthy for you and your family. The amalgamation of insecurity, poor self-esteem, and fear of rejection/abandonment is very common amongst pwBPD. I have had similar situations with my boyfriend. He is very insecure and jealous at times. It helps looking at your situation with a different perspective. If you are looking at it from a logical side, the situation does not seem to make sense. If you are looking at it with BPD perspective, it makes a little bit more sense. Have you tried validating her feelings when this occurs? Title: Re: When they try to isolate you Post by: startrekuser on November 25, 2015, 02:39:05 PM I have similar problems. Any interaction I have with family members when she's not there leads to all kinds of questions. She always wants to know if we said anything negative about her and never believes me when I say no. She asks me how it's possible that nothing negative was said. It goes on and on and on.
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