Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: chanel on December 10, 2015, 03:05:47 AM

Title: lost
Post by: chanel on December 10, 2015, 03:05:47 AM
Feeling so lost and empty after leaving FL and my husband aftwr 16 years back to my homeland England... I CAN'T find peace of mind! I'm forgetful and empty!

Title: Re: lost
Post by: emergent on December 10, 2015, 05:10:13 AM
Hi chanel,

I can imagine how difficult that is. Your whole life has turned upside down; not only have you left a relationship, but a country, too. I know what that's like. Everything that is familiar is suddenly gone.

I'm not sure if it's helpful, but try to remember that this state of feeling lost is temporary. It's a transitioning time for you, and presumably you have made these decisions because you know there is a better life for you at the end of this tunnel. It's perfectly normal that you're disoriented, so let yourself be that for a while, and know that it will pass in time.

Take care.

Title: Re: lost
Post by: cloudten on December 10, 2015, 08:50:41 AM
i can see how leaving someone after 16 years and literally changing countries would make you feel lost. You aren't crazy.

Actually I think what you are feeling is quite normal... .you are going through grief and detachment... .two very heavy and powerful emotions and processes.

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

Title: Re: lost
Post by: Mutt on December 10, 2015, 11:08:44 AM
Hi chanel,


I would like to echo emergent and cloudten, you left the continent and you had a long history with your husband. Did you have to leave family behind? Do you have kids with your husband? Is he diagnosed with BPD?

Title: Re: lost
Post by: mindwise on December 10, 2015, 12:26:43 PM
Hi chanel,

I can relate to what you are going through.

A few years ago I left behind a 15 year relationship and moved back to my home country.

It ain't easy to adjust to so many changes.

What helped me a lot was to:

1. Take things slow

2. Find a good support group 

3. Focus on personal growth & self care

Take care and keep posting,