BPDFamily.com

I finally left my BPD partner of 14 yrs (wife of 2yrs) 12/7/15.  I borrowed a few months rent from my sister and moved into a one bedroom apartment.  She was suicidal and hospitalized for a week which gave me enough time to  get necessities and a few things I really value out of the house.  I had to leave a lot behind.  She is holed up in the house we co-own with our three cats doing god only knows what and smearing me on fb (I don't really give a crap about what she says on fb although I modified my settings so my work and family friend would have see it) I still have to negotiate a legal separation and deal with the house. She is disabled from rheumatoid arthritis and has no contact with family (her mother is an extremely abusive drug addict that used to stalk her).  She has few real friends and none of them live nearby.  

I still have to pay for everything.  She is still waiting for disability approval.  I can't have contact with her outside of email because she will just fly into some emotional  bs attack if I try to talk to her on the phone.  At this point, I will only meet with her in the presence of someone who can try and keep her in reality (her therapist) so I can try to move forward with selling the house.  I can't afford the house.  We've been living on our tax returns and borrowed money since she stopped being able to work a year and a half ago.  I borrowed money to pay my legal fees.  I have credit card bills and school loans.  I'm in deep garbage and she is too far in orbit to deal with anything here on earth.  I can't even risk going back to the house to take care of the yard.  

I don't hate her.  I do hate the illness and the behavior.  I wish I didn't have to have any contact with her but that is not an option right now.  I know that there legal avenues to make that possible but I don't want to go there unless absolutely necessary nor can I afford to go that route monetarily.

I'm doing the best I can a day at a time but is a battle for sure.