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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Aud123 on January 14, 2016, 06:54:42 PM



Title: Wondering if ex was BPD
Post by: Aud123 on January 14, 2016, 06:54:42 PM
My ex BF wanted to get married.  We had only been together for a few months when he first proposed.  I agreed to eventually, but wanted to get to know him better.  Things were fine, but some signs of strange behavior from him.  Close and then distant.  A few temper tantrums where I thought I was with a 5-year old and not a 50-year old man.  He retracted the offer of marriage after six months, because of a disagreement.  He then said we would see how things went and he may reconsider.  I had a hard time feeling close and emotionally intimate with him.  Had not had that problem in my past 12-year relationship. BF seemed to cause drama where there should have been none or minimal.  Tried to cause drama with my teenage son.  Was overly critical to me and he was overly sensitive.  Because I was hesitant about marrying him due to his behavior, he said he was "extracting" himself from the relationship.  First acted hard and then acted sad, like it was my idea to call it quits.  I feel sad but yet also relieved.  Felt he was very passive aggressive.  He has very few friends and seems very aloof to many people.  He had many failed past relationships.


Title: Re: Wondering if ex was BPD
Post by: Turkish on January 14, 2016, 11:01:08 PM
Hi Aud123,

It sounds like there were a lot of red-flags there, even aside from the splitting (he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then all of a sudden doesn't), not only of you, but also of your son. See here for more:

BPD: What is it? How can I tell? (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=63511.0)

What's going on now, do you have contact?

Turkish