|
Title: this all fascinates me Post by: mylifeisgoodnow on January 31, 2016, 10:27:15 AM I am new to this BPD topic and find it all so interesting. Growing up with a father with bi polar paranoid schizophrenia and being told "he's just sick" I am finding the adjustment quite easy. Before thinking this was a normal relationship and wondering what the heck I am doing wrong. It is actually a relief.
I was taking everything personally and that is not the case. Different perspective. Different perception. Different approach. I have a support system and just being with my bf brings me comfort so I can take a step back, live my life, and enjoy him when he is feeling balanced. I am only responsible for my half of the relationship and that is me. They are sick. Practicing release of control is needed instead of trying to control and stay ahead of the waves. That in itself is crazy making. They are who they are. It is what it is. I can only speak for my BPDbf and say he is very sensitive and so am I. He can feel when I'm bearing down on him and needing more. As i can feel him pulling back. To keep doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity. I get this now. I am lucky he doesn't rage but he does get angry. But silent treatment is his way to express that. Now I just have to smile like at the antics of a child when he doesn't get his way. And if he leaves again so be it. His problem not mine. Thanks for letting me vent. Title: Re: this all fascinates me Post by: Ceruleanblue on January 31, 2016, 02:34:34 PM Yes, when you can stop taking it so personally, or stop picking up the blame they often project, that can lead to quite a shift. Mostly in the non, but sometimes it can also change the behaviors of the pwBPD too.
It seems you are in a good place with this, and so have the best chance of making this work. Of course, like you say, he may choose to leave, and that's just part of BPD, their unstable emotions, and choices. Title: Re: this all fascinates me Post by: waverider on February 01, 2016, 04:27:35 AM Not really a vent, more of a self validation. It is good to be able to stand back and see your own part in it and be ok with it rather than being guilt ridden and overwhelmed.
It is what it is and we do our best to live harmoniously with it rather than trying to fight the impossible, and often pointless, fight. |iiii Title: Re: this all fascinates me Post by: Scarlet Phoenix on February 01, 2016, 04:56:51 AM Hi mylifeisgoodnow,
A lot of good points in your post |iiii I try too keep the 3 C's in mind: I didn't cause, I can't control it, I can't cure it Title: Re: this all fascinates me Post by: Ceruleanblue on February 02, 2016, 03:59:59 PM Scarlet Phoenix:
I really like that, and will be making it one of my mantra's I recite in my head. Very helpful. Thanks for sharing it. Title: Re: this all fascinates me Post by: Scarlet Phoenix on February 02, 2016, 04:26:48 PM :)
|