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It's getting close to two years since the time that I realized that this is not just some ordinary anger management problem that my husband has.  The most difficult things for me now, besides making ends meet financially, are not getting triggered and resisting my husband's negativity without letting it drag me down.

I guess this sounds silly compared to the serious problems that people here encounter, but I do remember some really, really awful years.

About a year ago, I moved all of my cosmetics and toiletries to a different bathroom. Our bathroom was a place that my husband cornered me with negativity, accusations, and baits for arguments.  By making a change, I've been able to get ready for work in peace.  

I couldn't sleep in peace either.  Snoring was one thing; constantly snoring in my face was another.  He'd wake up all hours of the night, wake me up with his noise, and turn on the TV.  I couldn't get back to sleep with all of his noise and the TV lights flashing and reflecting off the wall, so I ended up sleeping on the couch.  Now I get uninterrupted sleep.

For about the last month, there's been no peace in our kitchen when he is in there.  He constantly sighs and complains.  He's not happy with his new job, and the kitchen is his  dumping ground about everything that's going wrong in his life.  It's really hard to live around this.  If I'm in the kitchen or the den, my regular hangouts, when he comes into the kitchen, I can usually kiss my peace goodbye.  

I leave the room when I have to, but instead, I want to say, "Stop it! Just stop it!"  I'm trying really hard to prevent our home from being a depressing place to live.  Maybe I'm just fooling myself that it already isn't.

flowerpath I'm wondering that if you keep moving away from each situation as they arise with your SO, then soon there will be no place left for you to go.

How would it feel to consider addressing these issues with your h in an attempt to try and improve things in a way that redresses the balance for you in your home?


What could you say instead of shouting Stop it' in your head? I understand why you are doing this, but ultimately it leaves the frustration inside you.

What are your options, what if anything has worked in the past? 

Flowerpath, I can really identify with your situation. I treasure my alone time and I've also started creating more personal space for me. My husband snores and now I sleep alone and get a good night's sleep. I get up early so I can be by myself. I dread being around his negativity often.

No words of advice from me, but I definitely hear you and know it can be draining to live with a pwBPD. I get much of my battery recharge from other people and doing fun activities without my husband.

I don't think you have to apologize for having to deal with the constant negativity... .It may not be as bad as some of the things other non's have to deal with, but when it's day in and day out... .anything can get tough to deal with... .