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Well I got woken up to my coworker calling me. My ex had just been into my work and flipped out of the blue on 2 of my coworkers. Called them b___es and rude ___s. Got in a girls face, she is about 5 feet talk 100 lbs. Apparently one of them simply asked him if he likes ice coffee. He just snapped. Was yelling so loud the 2 guys working came to help My female coworker. My coworker is so upset, crying. And I have to go in to work now. Ugh.

Hi rarsweet,

That's horrible that your ex did that. How are your coworkers doing now?

I am assuming this is that second job you recently posted about. Your ex had been coming in for every weekend morning since about late February while he never used to before. You said he never said a word to anyone, but now he clearly did have something to say

Has your ex ever done anything like this before? Has he ever unexpectedly showed up at any of your previous jobs before?

Oh my God it just gets worse. A couple of weeks ago someone called my second job asking when I was working next. My coworker said that they said they were supposed to deliver a package for me. I wasn't there at the time and my coworker said she hung up on them. Last week it happened again. When I first met ex I had a different number than I do now. One of my customers happens to have my old number now. She comes in and jokes about the calls she gets for me.Today she came in and told me the last 2 weeks she has been getting calls from an investigator looking for me. Apparently ex reported that I stole his truck to his insurance and loan carriers. Apparently they are just using the phone number that he had put down when he used me as a reference, we were together when he first got the truck.  I also worked at my second job then. I have worked there 3 times. Dumb*** probably told them he doesn't know where I am not realizing that they can track me down. I assume the calls have been so that they can come get me and the truck when I am at work. So I have the number for the investigator and I am going to call him, tell him exactly where ex and his truck are now. I am livid. Just a con trying to do another money scheme.

This might fit the definition of assault:

www.legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/assault

It sounds like he's getting worse, escalating. A lot of people are aware of him in your community. What's your safety plan?

Might want to check into a restraining/protection order around you and your places of work.

Your co workers need to call the police if it happens again. Also, they should record it on their phone.

And they shouldn't allow him to sit and wait around.  Would a manager or someone in HR (hopefully accompanied by a couple burly male police officers) inform him that he has no business being there and not to return ever?  And then get a copy of the officer's report.  This is impacting your workplace (workers, customers, etc) and should be nipped in the bud.  But don't let yourself or your coworkers face him alone.

By getting a police report, then if he returns again that would be more likely to be basis for further legal action if it gets that far.  My story, I recall when my ex created a scene at my daycare and the director called the police and they helped her depart, the director then went to court to file for a harassment order.  She had to withdraw it because, if I recall correctly, she was told that the proper way for a business to handle it was to handle it like a trespassing incident if it happened again.

You can seek a protection order which would also apply while you were at work but your employer may have to consult the legal staff to determine how to address unwelcome visitors.

I spoke to the investigator earlier. They've actually been watching my home and work. Unbelievable. But good news is I let them know exactly where he and his truck really are. Apparently he hasn't made a payment since October. He notified them 57 days ago that I had taken it. Now do I try to get a restraining order? Is this enough?

Just had the police here. They can't do anything.

After the fact, or at the time of incident? If the police are called, they would probably come if he were causing a disturbance and refused to leave, say.

Yes they said they could act if we called while he was flipping out not after. There is nothing I can do about him claiming I stole his truck since he only reported it to his loan carrier. I am thinking however that I have to address this in family court. The judge still has not issues any order since out hearing back in March. I think this has got to be even more reason for supervised visits at least. Not to mention the fact that he meant seen her for 3 months now. Also isn't it perjury since he put on his financial affidavit that he was paying a car payment and he hasn't paid since October?  He must not have car insurance anymore either if his car is supposedly gone. I realized after talking to the investigator, who said he filed the report 57 days ago, that 57 days ago was exactly the day he came back into the area after being gone for a month. We had court 4 days later and he sat in that court and called me a liar. Knowing he had just claimed I stole his truck. He is really sick.

I believe, since the police were called, you can get the report of the call and the reason why. This way, the next time he does that the police can be called right away and you will have two pieces of evidence.

The police are often the "first responders" when we call 911.  They assess what they see at that time.  Calling them afterward is certainly less effective, as you've learned.  For example, imagine you call 911 and say "Last week my Ex did... ."  Likely the response would amount to "Call us back when it's an emergency."


No one will stand up for your or your child as much as you.  YOU are your own best advocate.  Accept others aren't in your shoes, not your co-workers, not the officers, not your lawyer, not the judge.  Whether he is "really sick" or whatever, they won't advocate for protections and orders as much as you can and should.  They won't stand up for you as much as YOU can stand stand up for yourself.  They will support you but won't do it for you.