BPDFamily.com

My exBPDgf, has a new "best friend", whom she has glommed on to. This is a new person in her life, when I saw her today, her new hairstyle is identical to this new "friend". It reminds me of that movie "Single White Female". Kinda weird if you ask me.

I'm assuming that things didn't work out with replacement #2 and since she can't find a new supply, she's now mirroring this new friend of hers.

I'm just curious, is this something pwBPD's do? It's really making me notice the complete lack of individuality a pwBPD has, while coming off as insanely creepy.

Hello friend, I don't know if all pwbp do this but mirroring is a known trait of theirs. From all I've read they are a walking shell of empty space on a never-ending search to fill it, live it, make it their own. When what they're filling it with is another human beings emotions, personality, identity.

In fact, your post describes how my relationship began with mine. I was mirrored, adored. Did her best to be a replica of me. As she would stare at my every move, I know now it to be studying... not affection.

It eventually got to the point she would look in my eyes and tell ME MY stories of MY childhood as her own?

When I brought it to her attention, she stared off into a blank space with a lost stare.

Many years later of much covert passive aggressive abuse from her, and lengthy reading of my own, I realize what illness she carries. A psychotherapist confirms it to me (who treated us both, because of course my pwbp had to start separately seeing the same therapist I was, all because she always had to have what I had... )  And we lived the typical textbook codependent/BPD relationship. Now we are NC but on my last round of being recycled by her, I noticed she was somebody new she was mirroring. Someone I didn't know anymore.

I am sure I have hurt her as well. Not knowing what she had or how to handle certain situations, I'm sure I was deep pain for her as well.

The good news is after dealing with a situation like this, you can spot one a mile away. After what I

have been through, I am now the Cluster B Avenger.

Yes!  Once I realized my friend (now former friend) had BPD, I noticed the mirroring of friends.  

What I find VERY disturbing was her telling a number of people about an upcoming vacation she was taking.  She went into detail about where she was going, etc.  It sounds normal, right?  Wrong... .she was telling MY STORY.  I was taking the vacation she was talking about, not her.

What was worse about all of this was the fact we weren't really in contact at that time.  I began distancing myself and had not mentioned a word to her about my vacation.

The way I found out about her talking was through a mutual friend.  I was telling him about my vacation and he asked if I was going with the pwBPD as she had been talking about the EXACT same trip the day before.  The month she said she was going on vacation also happened to be the SAME time I went.

How she found out about my plans, I have no idea.  But, it did tell me that she was keeping tabs on me, and I believe she still is.

It is VERY creepy!

YES! I dont reply on the boards much anymore but do read here alot. Im almost two years out from when I ended mine and went NC. Im almost  8 months without any contact from exBPDgf. Mine mirrored all her friends. I never noticed it because the first year I was kept away from her family and friends. As I was slowley allowed to be around the others  it was amazing to see her change. So in my experience they do mirror their friends.

Whoa, now this has me wondering how many of my stories and life experiences she is passing off as her own now, with new people?

She has this "best friend" girl completely duped, the same way she had me duped. I feel bad for her, because she has no idea what she is in for. Maybe it's just me, but if I made a new friend and they started liking EVERY SINGLE Facebook post I made and copying my hair and clothing choices, I'd be more than a little creeped out. But that's just me. Lol.

No it's not just you.  I felt VERY creeped out when it happened to me.  And I must say... .what you described above is EXACTLY what mine did... .she did all of that!  I do recall a friend of mine referencing Single White Female as well, which only creeped me out even further lol

Mitchell, how have you been feeling now that you're two years removed?

Ditto. haha! I was extremely creeped out. I didn't know if I was coming or going. Every friend I had said I was in denial to how sick she really was, and evidently they were right.

I just didn't realize how bad off I was until much later in the relationship. Plus my exbp also has a talent with her covert narcissism so she was skilled at hiding the mirroring, and coming off as she was my soulmate or 'just like me'.

Now I know, she worked hard to make me believe it while she was filling a void within herself.

What makes me feel like a fool is all the times friends caught her looking in my windows, staring at me from a corner in bars, all of sudden caring for things that I loved, and here I thought it was all coming from a place of love.

And I don't doubt for a second she has used your stories as her own. I know it happened to me plenty of times.

lol wikipedia single white female

i didnt realise i was mirrored till the relationship broke down and she mirrored my abusive childhood

as a co dependent i tried to support her

theni realised she had BPD OMFG

offered to help her through therapy

i was painted blak and exit stage right

Dhand77, I feel great. I feel lucky to have escaped the hell that I allowed myself to live in for almost 3 years. It was not an easy thing to do, to just go NC and stick with it. But once I did and I stuck to it life got better. I still at times morn the loss of her but then I remind myself that it was all a lie, non of it was real. what I was in love with was a fantasy that did not exist.

On my last recycle with her I asked myself what would be my breaking point. What would cause me walk away. I decided that the lies was it. I no longer could deal with the lies. Of course true to her nature the lies started again and I walked away. she did her best, calls, texts, emails, driving to home, having her freinds and relatives contact but ignored it all and it finally stopped. I have met a wonderful lady and she has been a complete joy to be in a relationship with. It was very starnge becuase I had almost forgot what it was like to date someone normal, no raging, lies, being drunk etc... .It has been great. I hope everyone on these boards finds it again.