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Title: Is this Typical of BPD? Post by: DotinOz on June 07, 2016, 08:24:00 AM Hello all
I know my husband has BPD. I even told him I know he does and he told me that therapists in the past have thought he had it too. Sometimes his treatment of me is absolutely awful, sometimes its wonderful. We met last Feb of 2015 and were married nine months later in November of 2015... .My question is: I notice sometimes he checks my phone... .He has done this numerous times without knowing I know. Is this typical of Borderlines? Ive NEVER given him any reason to suspect that IM being unfaithful or not honest with him about anything. Is this due to his insecurity? Any feedback would help. I love him dearly and am reading books about BPD, but most days I feel like I live in the Wizard of Oz. Dot Title: Re: Is this Typical of BPD? Post by: ColdEthyl on June 07, 2016, 01:22:56 PM Hello! I am sorry you are dealing with this. In short, yes. It's pretty typical BPD behavior. They get jealous easy, they assume the worst, and are so afraid of us leaving that they think we are possibly cheating at any given moment.
The question is, how are you handling it? Do you feel like your privacy is violated? Have you worked on any boundaries for yourself? This is one I'm still working on with my husband, but it has gotten a lot better over time with the lessons here on this site. Title: Re: Is this Typical of BPD? Post by: DotinOz on June 07, 2016, 04:30:23 PM Thank you so much COldEthyl <3 Im not too upset about it, just baffled as to why he would think Im cheating lol Ive never even as much as flirted with other men since Ive been with him... .Non of my guys friends even talk to me anymore due to him driving them pretty much away. I love him dearly, but I wonder if at times he LOOKS for things to pick a fight?
Title: Re: Is this Typical of BPD? Post by: isilme on June 07, 2016, 04:57:12 PM My now husband has forever assumed I have cheated (never - he's the only person I'd ever even dated) or that I will leave him in a minute.
Some of this is projection - in the past he HAS been the one flirting and seeking attention from others - so it's easier for him to assume I'd have done the same. Some is fear of rejection and abandonment to a huge degree - natural father was so horrible his mother left him with 2 small children in tow (H and his sister), and married again, but H never felt he was good enough to be accepted as the new dad's son. The only things I'd really worry about are pretty much posted on here, under a name I don't use elsewhere, and I usually only post here from work, so that's how I keep my own privacy about things that I am sure h'ed see as a gross violation to him. I will admit since H wants his own privacy respected, he usually does not go through my stuff (that I can tell at least). |