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Title: Need advice on how to cope Post by: Love hurts on June 19, 2016, 07:54:46 AM Hi this is my first post!
My partner and I have only recently moved in together. Been together 5 months! There's lots going on! But right now it's been going on for 11 days. Over something I said was completely taken the wrong way! I have tried everything. But I have been pushed aside! Limited communication! Mainly through txt! She is in the bedroom and I'm in the lounge room. She will talk to others but not me! It's extremely heartbreaking! I have hurt her and she not sure if she wants to talk about it or if it can be fixed! I just want to know how you cope when loved ones are like this. I remind her everyday I love her and I'm not going anywhere. I have good days and bad days with this, it's hard not to get caught up in the hurt and pain! I try and stay strong but sometimes it's hard! Any advice would be appreciated Title: Re: Need advice on how to cope Post by: waverider on June 20, 2016, 07:50:11 AM You cant control what she does, you can only control what you will allow yourself to be exposed to.
When she is upset she wants to project that upset onto someone, you. If you are allowing yourself to be visibly upset by her actions then you validate the action as a way of projecting her hurt. That soothes her, so she will continue to do it. Deliberately cutting you out is a type of abuse. Abuse requires learning healthy boundaries and how to uphold them BOUNDARIES - Living our values (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0) Believe it or not even though people with BPD try to trample over other peoples boundaries they do not respect those who allow it to happen. |