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Title: Funerals Post by: Thunderstruck on August 03, 2016, 09:40:13 AM Our temp CO does not have a provision in it to allow SD to attend funerals of family members.
We've notified uBPDbm that DH's dad (SD11's grandfather) is very near death and asked that she please work with us so SD will be able to attend the funeral/memorial. Her reply was some blame shifting about how we NEVER work with her. ::eyeroll emoji:: We didn't take the bait to start a fight, just replied that SD's grandfather is dying and asked uBPDbm to please be prepared to support her emotionally as it will be very difficult for her. uBPDbm replied that SD only sees him three times a year and it would only be difficult because DH would make it difficult just like he always makes things difficult when he hounds SD for information and punishes her when she doesn't give it (?). I don't know what all that was about (projection/blame shifting?). I'm personally really peeved off that she would even imply that SD wouldn't be upset over her grandfather's passing. It sounds like uBPDbm is going to make it difficult for SD to attend the funeral. Does anyone have any tips on how we can handle this? Maybe we'll get lucky and the funeral will be during our parenting time. If it isn't, I'm not sure what we should do. Title: Re: Funerals Post by: GaGrl on August 03, 2016, 03:34:14 PM Having the funeral during your time would be the best outcome, but of course, funerals (like natural births) rarely happen according to any plan.
I think the repetition of the request to work with SD during a difficult period was appropriate -- you didn't take the bait. I would sure forward BPDmom's reply to the evaluator, though. What a callous attitude! Title: Re: Funerals Post by: Turkish on August 03, 2016, 03:51:07 PM Can you word it so that you make it clear that you will extend the same courtesy towards her side of the family?
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