BPDFamily.com

Something I've often wondered about is how pwBPD view/deal with the anniversaries of negative events (breakups, suicide attempts, etc.).  I know this isn't a "one size fits all" question, but their memories of so many other events are either gone completely or not entirely accurate.  Does this also apply to significant events, or does the shame related to those events push through to the surface?

I guess I'm mainly asking so that I can maybe have a better idea of how my BPD friend may react to certain things, so I don't accidentally trigger her.

Below are some things I've observed over the past few months:

1. Right around the time of the one year anniversary of her moving in with her ex-boyfriend last year, she became even more impulsive than usual, got into an argument with her mom, did a lot of push/pull with me, etc. 

3. I'm a teacher and went back to work the other day to prep my room for the upcoming school year.  She student taught and then subbed for the rest of the school year two years ago.  Then, she left the profession completely and is now working a minimum wage job.  I took a few pictures and posted them to my Snapchat story, which she later viewed.  Since then, I haven't heard anything from her.  I should note that my classroom is where our friendship formed and where we spent MANY hours talking and that her suicide attempt happened a few days before the last day of school, so we didn't even get to finish out the year together.  This alone probably isn't that significant, but paired with #3, it is. 

3. The day I did room prep was the one year anniversary of when she broke up with the guy from last year.  They were supposed to move across the country together, to live with her parents.  Despite her turbulent past, we were all convinced that he was the one for her and that they could make it work.  She decided to stay here instead of moving in with her parents.  So, that date not only marks their breakup but also the end of her plan to live with her parents, whom she rarely sees.  Today, she shared a post on FB about depression, and I can tell things have been off with her for the past week or so. 

Again, I know that everyone deals with anniversaries of events differently.  One cancer survivor might have a party every year on the anniversary of being told his cancer is in remission, while another survivor might not even acknowledge that same event.  pwBPD just tend to have a lot more intense situations in their past, and they never fully grieve any of them, so it made me wonder if they almost relive the event each year.