BPDFamily.com

Yes, say more about isolation.  My ex was always accusing me of trying to seduce his friends.  he told me I had to,"know my role," and only look at him, talk to him, laugh at his jokes.  :)o not look at anyone else or laugh at anyone else's joke.  :)o not as anyone questions or add to the conversation. If I was asked a question, answer it quickly and drop it, don't continue a conversation.  I pretty much could not smile at anyone or look in the direction of anyone.  If I looked away from the group, he would accuse me of looking around for other guys to seduce that were not in the group.  So I had to sit there like a mute, deaf zombie and not participate in the group or get to know his friends or let them know me. Meanwhile, he could speak to the other girls in the group or the friends' girlfriends.  The friends' girlfriends were free to speak and laugh and enjoy the group.  But if I did, I was "betraying" him.  

I started to hate doing anything with his friends or even when he started talking to people around us.  He told me not to worry about what other people thought of me when I told him I didn't like being the lame girlfriend who just stood there all quiet with a resting b___ face.  He said my only concern should be him and what he thinks of me and how he feels.  (He never had concern for me and how that was crushing me and hurting me).

He started to isolate me from my own friends, because if I wanted to go do anything without him, I "must" be up to something slutty.  he would bring up friends' name when we were getting sexual.  He would insist I never tell any friends what was going on between us.  

It becomes impossible to live that way.  He is allowed to go out and have fun with his friends and go to bars and flirt around and party it up, but if I so much as smile and try to join in the conversation, I am a "horrible slut."  

I tried to do all the things suggested for living with a BPD, but after a while the resentment grows so large you just want to rage.  You can only take the insults and accusations for so long, and when he is a hypocrite and does what he accuse you of doing, it is infuriating.

Hey prettykitty, What is your present status?  Are you in a r/s with him, or not?  I am quite familiar with getting isolated from family and friends, which is one way a pwBPD copes with his/her fear of abandonment and deep insecurities.  Nonetheless, it's no way to live.  You're not a child and have the right to get together with your own friends and discuss your situation, any time you feel like it.  Don't give away your power!

LuckyJim

My ex wife did it with everyone. Me, her mum, her friends. No two people who knew her could communicate. I think it was easier than trying to remember what she had told everyone as everyone got a different story. This way no two people could compare notes and catch her out.