|
Title: I resisted the urge. Post by: BowlOfPetunias on October 05, 2016, 08:27:30 AM Last night, my wife was turning into a wreck. She needed to prep for teaching pre-K, but our 7-year-old daughter was throwing tantrums instead of doing her homework. My wife gave up on getting her to do the homework and asked me to take her upstairs. I tried to do so, but my wife kept reengaging with her.
The hard part for me is that my wife had no empathy or understanding when I used to prepare lesson plans for teaching college. She would call me at work--assuming that of course I was not really working because I was not in class--professors have it so easy, you know--and cry and cry about how she could not take it that our infant son was crying. (She had this idea that she should be able to make him stop crying. So why wasn't he stopping?) Keep in mind that she desperately wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and made me feel extremely guilty that she had to return to work--even part time--after a few months. Her friend C had a husband who could support her, after all. I would wind up being pulled out of the office and back home without competing my plan for the next day. Keep in mind that junior faculty members are expected to put in 60 to 80 hours a week. I wasn't able to put in 40 without being called to rescue her from her own decision. I was very tempted to say something like, "Now you know how I felt when you wouldn't let me prepare my lesson plans." But I managed to let it go. My current job is 9 to 5 and pays well (though we are still broke, of course), but it is not what I want to do. I have given up looking for the work I want because having interviewed for those jobs I found 1) I would need to take a pay cut (which we certainly can not afford) 2) I would not be able to get the kids to school before I would need to take a bus into the city. She can't do this because she has to be in early as a pre-K teacher. Title: Re: I resisted the urge. Post by: BowlOfPetunias on October 05, 2016, 08:37:32 AM I forgot to mention that I validated her feelings--"I understand it is frustrating."
Title: Re: I resisted the urge. Post by: teapay on October 05, 2016, 08:50:32 AM Sounds like you did great considering the poor circumstances and your own justified frustration. Kudos.
Title: Re: I resisted the urge. Post by: CrazyChuck on October 05, 2016, 09:54:26 AM I was very tempted to say something like, "Now you know how I felt when you wouldn't let me prepare my lesson plans." But I managed to let it go. Best idea ever. My wife never understands. Title: Re: I resisted the urge. Post by: ArleighBurke on October 05, 2016, 07:23:25 PM "... .but my situation is different because <insert crazy unrelated reason here>"
|