Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Wize on November 18, 2016, 08:15:38 PM

Title: Wize here...just checking in.
Post by: Wize on November 18, 2016, 08:15:38 PM
Hey everyone.  I've been gone a for a little bit.  For the newer folks, I'm currently involved in a divorce from BPD wife.  I left and filed for divorce 6 months ago.  I'm not going into detail about my marriage or any of that stuff because y'all know we've all been through pretty much the same nightmare, rollercoaster, highest highs and lowest lows. 

I've become friends with BPDw's first husband.  We talk a lot about how we got through the relationship and how we became stronger people because of it. My ex always made him out to be the devil, but he's nothing like what she described.  He's just like me; a nice, loving guy with codependency who got hooked up with a blood sucker. 

So really all I want to say is, hang in there everyone, you will detach and you will be better. 

Title: Re: Wize here...just checking in.
Post by: Herodias on November 18, 2016, 09:31:43 PM
Hi, glad you checked in... .I am really interested in your friendship with the ex. In talking with him, you said he was pretty much a nice guy... .did she seem to change personalities from him to you like some pwBPD do?  :)id he seem to have the same problems you did? I think you are in a very interesting position to see it was not you at all. It must be validating for you. Thanks for sharing.

Title: Re: Wize here...just checking in.
Post by: sad but wiser on November 18, 2016, 10:01:47 PM
Hi Wize,
   It takes longer than you can believe to get through the divorce... .then they won't follow the court order anyway.  (Rules are for ordinary people.)  Remember, stuff is only stuff and freedom is costly, but worth the price.

Title: Re: Wize here...just checking in.
Post by: Warcleods on November 19, 2016, 04:29:11 AM
Good for you!

Yea my ex uBPD husband wasn't painted as the devil, but, everything was his fault.  He didn't do this, he didn't do that, she made bad decisions because he didn't rescue her or stop her.  What a nightmare to have to live like that.  Anyway, glad you are doing well!