BPDFamily.com

This is my first post. I spend many sleepless nights reading up on Family Law and lose hope when I see how the system is flawed when dealing with mental health issues... .especially BPD. . We have been in court for 2.5 years and have spent $150k so far. We have wiped out everything (yet she continues to "Make money" pocketing high child support and alimony.

My husband's ex wife is undiagnosed BPD. She's textbook. At a young age, her mother alienated her from her bio father. She was raised to think her dad abandoned her. (My mother in law always suspected something so I tracked down the father and of course his version is quite different. My step children aka his grandchildren have even been raised to think he's dead. Yet, he lives 20 miles from us). My husband's ex wife was abusive during their marriage (my husband is non confrontational and very easy going).  She had multiple affairs during their marriage (he was kind and never disclosed to the court during divorce). Two years ago, she filed a police report full of lies to get my husband arrested for stalking (case was dismissed a year later).  Last year, she filed false allegations with DFCS claiming my son molested my step child (we have plenty of evidence to prove it was a court room tactic but cannot disclose deyails here because case is still active). Two years ago, She got engaged to a guy 4 months after meeting him. She got pregnant right away. She convinced her fiancé we were evil. Yet, she threatened to have an abortion at 20 weeks if her fiancé did not fly her up to opening night NBA game (we have this documented). Her fiancé had to call the police on her twice because she used physical force (she's 90 lbs and he's 250 lbs). They eventually broke up and he called us and disclosed everything. It was then that we all realized she was BPD. Everything finally started to make sense. I could list a hundred things she's done... .she's called police on me twice claiming we are keeping kids from her (it'll be our vacation time but she creates scenario that it's over etc). My step kids are 6 and 8. They are told such awful things about us (they confide a lot to us) and she utilizes guilt on them to keep control of them. Both kids have behavior problems (one has ODD and ADHD). One is reading 2 grade levels behind.

We currently have joint custody with standard visitation (every other wknd and 2 weeknights). We got summer vacation increased from 2 to 5 weeks at first trial. Our goal is to be primary custodial so we can provide our home as primary residence and so we have final decision making. Our home is stable, loving and gives them best chance of success. My ex husband and I are best friends so this conflict with my husband's ex is foreign to me. My husband and I live in same neighborhood as my ex. I don't even have a parenting schedule. I have role model post divorce friendship.

My husband loses faith bc we are always playing defense in court. His ex turns everything around and is queen of deflection. I keep praying that the truth will finally surface.

Our first trial was aug 2015 and the focus was blocking her from relocating to another state (to be with ex fiancé). We filed a new case 6 months ago as result of learning the truth about her violence with ex fiancé and her false molestation claim. It's mind bongling that her bio father, her ex husband (my husband) and ex fiancé are all the evil ones... .but they are all caring and loving ppl.

I used to lose sleep fearing she would hire a hit man if we won custody. Tha may sound crazy but I've seen her say and do things that are downright scary.

I've read that ppl have been successful in court but only if they are willing to see it til the end. At times I feel like giving up but then I realize that we still have time to save my husband's children from her sickness.

I do an excellent job documenting everything for our lawyers. Any advice from those in custody battles with BPD mom's?

Sorry for any typos... ,I'm typing this on my phone.

I posted this in family late section but can't delete this post. Sorry!