BPDFamily.com

So I posted a lot back when I was really going through it. So it's been a while. I had a typical BPD relationship with my ex gf. Constantly fighting for nc. Her going to great lengths to stay in contact even when dating other guys and in "love"! Now she recently moved to a city where I live. Strictly for work. She just got out of a relationship who she said she's still crazy over but it feels like he's the one but they can't be together because of work and that she had to move and he needs to stay where he is also for work. They're actors.  She did inform me they broke up prior and we're going to try and work it out but now with the move they decided not too.

Of course hearing this hurt me. She texted  me here and there a few months leading up to her  moving but she called me today becaus she really wants to hang out.

I said it was crazy because I was thinking about her at the same time when she texted me. And she was like "ew. That's weird. Why/what were you thinking about"

Hey zenwexler, Recycling is common in the world of BPD.  It seems like your BPD Ex is testing the waters to see if you are still on the hook.  Are you?  Many here have recycled, including me, only to find themselves in the same position they were before, except with more pain and suffering.  Suggest you tread carefully here.  LJ

After all these years she still has an affect on me. And I've been thinking about our convo and now I'm more angry.

Like why does she feel the need to tell me she's more sexual now? That she was waaay more sexual with her most recent ex bf and how she likes public display of affection.

Why does she say these things to me and then when I talk about sex she's like eww. It's weird to think about sex with you

But then like hey. Let's hang out! Let me text you.

And it's so bizzare for her to be like eww why was I on your mind. That's weird. When she texted me! Clearly I was on her mind.

And I texted her after the convo saying something really sweet about chasing her dreams and how I think she'll reach them because she's awesome.
Her response was "awww. Thanks. That's so sweet. ! Who knew you could be so nice! Jkjk"

She still always wants to paint me in a negative light.

And what hurts the most is the thought that's she's changed. And better out treating others guys way better then me. But I know that's not the case.

''I said it was crazy because I was thinking about her at the same time when she texted me.''

Did you not remembered that since 3 years you have been( i should say''pervertedly hacked into'' thinking about her mostly every days?
What is crazy,is that we unconsciously keep hoping!

I truly hope being wrong here.
Personally for me,after three years the pain is gone, but the nostalgia is still a part of my daily life.