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Title: I need help with an adult child Post by: Sosadsilk on January 13, 2017, 10:55:04 AM My heart is broken,
I have had to cut myself off from my adult daughter. I feel horrible. I can't speak with her, it's like riding a roller-coaster, no matter the subject it always ends with her blaming me for her problems. I didn't love her enough, didn't give her the tools to deal with life, I choose her sister over her, and on and on it goes. I'm at my wits end. I has started to effect my relationship with my other daughter. She don't understand why I even try. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard spot. There is alot to this story, but this is a start. Help Title: Re: I need help with an adult child Post by: livednlearned on January 13, 2017, 02:12:53 PM Hi Sosadsilk,
It takes a lot of strength to not be emotionally injured in a BPD relationship. Add to that, the skills to communicate with someone who has BPD are not intuitive. They take work, and patience, and some change on our part. You need a break right now, and that's ok. She probably pushes all kinds of buttons and rolls over boundaries, and this is your way of getting some peace. You're taking care of yourself, which is essential if you're to have the strength needed to support your daughter. How old is your BPD daughter? Does she know she is BPD? How is your other daughter affected? Glad you found the site. Let us know how you're doing. You're not alone, there are others here to walk with you. LnL Title: Re: I need help with an adult child Post by: incadove on January 23, 2017, 11:50:45 PM Thanks for reaching out
Take care of yourself, take it one step at a time. I'm hoping that as my adult children deal with life problems themselves, they may grow and understand a little bit more. It helps me to show some caring that I do want to do, on my own terms, and then I feel better that I can at least care in the way that I can handle, whether sending some gifts or just making sure they are ok. If you reach out and make more connections with adult friends and give yourself a really good support network, you may find you have more strength to handle the relationship in a less painful way. I don't really know because I'm still on the journey myself, and hoping that we all get through it. Have you tried any therapy, either for your daughter or for your family or yourself? |