|
Title: calling her bluff Post by: trolkeeper on January 15, 2017, 06:55:14 AM Has anyone ever gotten to the point where you just say to yourself I can not do this anymore and whatever she does, she does? I feel like I am almost there. She has caused so much disruption that I am feeling less and less protective of her. She is 16 and in 2 more years who knows what she will do. She has already said she is out of here. I feel as though I have done everything I know how to do.
Title: Re: calling her bluff Post by: mggt on January 15, 2017, 07:57:48 AM Yes many many times , this disease attacks everyone not just the BPD it effects family friends everyone take it easy on yourself its ok to feel overwhelmed we as parents are the caretakers always have and always will , we see what could have been and what should have been and it just shakes us to our core with sadness and anger so its ok to feel the way you do easy on yourself
Title: Re: calling her bluff Post by: Kat816 on January 16, 2017, 02:55:57 PM Hi there,
I totally understand where you are coming from. My daughter is 16 now and we have struggled since she was small with her being over sensitive, not making connections with friends that keep her isolated. It has been really bad since she was 14 and been through a lot of dramatic issues with boys, drugs and now quitting school. I have done so much research and can validate now that she has a mental issue and needs help. It's like living with 2 different people, the one that is helpful and respectful and the there is the other person that becomes total opposite that just gives up on life says all the opposite things. Like I hate you and I don't want to live here anymore. Understanding that this is normal for them to act this way and not to take it personnel is the key. Let in roll off your back. Once they settle down it all changes back. We as parents want the best, do the best and that is what we need to keep doing even though we are struggling as a family along the way. My daughter is still young enough and is back in the program for DBT through our Child and Ministry. I hope she applies her self this time as I feel she is not there yet and is going through the motions. They also need to understand their illness, come to terms with it and get help for themselves. Either counselling or self help books, webinars etc that is out there online to help manage their lives. I seek out groups, other parents to talk with. I am going for counseling myself so I can manage through and not worry so much but have a plan for her and our family when thing go south again as it will. Communicate with your family, friends and if they don't understand have them research it. When it's staring you in the face you can't ignore it. We all have our times when we give up, give yourself your time, take a break to recoup so you can go again. I hope this helps and keeps you inspired to continue on as a great Mom! |