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Title: Indecision Post by: abouttowalk on January 15, 2017, 07:40:41 PM Hello, I am in constant conflict with my husband of 10 years who suffers with BPD and is also an alcoholic(currently not drinking, but a dry drunk nonetheless).I understand the reason that he has this;both of his parents died when he was 16.I had tremendous empathy for many years, but it is wearing very thin, due to the continuous rage and contempt towards me.We have been separated in the past, due to his violence towards me.The problem is that I am financially dependant on him due to being disabled.I also have five cats and a dog and don't know where to go with them.I think of him as a friend and not the way that a wife should love her husband.He makes me laugh(when he isn't screaming at me), and has a good job and health insurance and we own two properties together(if the one that is mortgage free wasn't a cabin without running water, I would live there, because I am the one who paid for it).Do I give up my pets and go into disabled housing?Do I beg him to go back to counseling?(he says he is "too busy", but was dong well in a mindfulness based counseling for a brief time).Do I go to a divorce attorney?I am at wits end... .Thank you
Title: Re: Indecision Post by: sad but wiser on January 15, 2017, 09:31:01 PM Dear About,
No one can make your choice for you. I will say that violence is no good, ever. If finances are truly the only thing holding you back, see about consulting a divorce attorney. Find out what your assets are, figure out your options. Can you work? Part time? Often spousal support is ordered to give the non working partner time to become self supporting. Properties can be sold and more appropriate ones purchased. Do not move out until you have seen an attorney. Title: Re: Indecision Post by: Mutt on January 15, 2017, 09:44:30 PM Hi abouttowalk,
*welcome* I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that. I can understand feeling like it's time to throw in the towel. I'd like to echo sad but wiser, a r/s is personal and it's a personal choice to stay or leave. We're here to support you, you're not alone. Are you safe right now? |