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Title: First time on website Post by: Jsg on January 23, 2017, 10:16:03 PM I have been very confused on what had been happening in my relationship, everything is going fine and all of a sudden all these problems and situations pop up. It seems minor a lot of times to me and the situation seem to be blown out of proportion. The problems seem to change daily and can last for hours , days, or months. A lot of anger and putting me down in anyway and all ways seems to take place with constant complaining. The more I try talk about a solution to the problem the more they seem to change and become different problems. The past is brought up constantly from up to 4 years ago , about things that don't even exist anymore. I get totally confused, and after 3 days or so I have no idea what the problem even is. This last time the complaint and anger was about not clean the way she wants and couldn't tell me what I am even doing wrong. About a week ago I had come to the conclusion I think my wife may have BPD ,I truly love my wife, it just really wears me down,the silent treatment and it makes me have a lot of anxiety and confusion. I'm just trying to figure out how I can defuse this in the beginning or what is the best solution just not to be pulled in or involved in this behavior. It feels like insanity.
Title: Re: First time on website Post by: michel71 on January 23, 2017, 10:42:20 PM Welcome. I remember making my first post and it is a bold and courageous step. I remember how confused I was and desperate for answers. I remember coming here to find comfort and kinship.
That was a few years ago. All I can tell you is that you are in the right place. You will read posts here from people at different stages of coping with somebody who may have or does have BPD. I learned and continue to learn a lot from everybody here. I have been on the various BOARDS at different times depending on how I felt about my relationship. Like you I love my wife but we are now living in separate places. The peace and tranquility I feel is off the charts. I don't know if we have a future together and quite frankly it seems unlikely but what I do know is that reconnecting with myself after years of crazy making, gas lighting, devaluing, verbal and financial abuse is surviving now. Yes I miss her. But I don't miss the arguments and trauma. She broke my heart. She broke my spirit. I am trying to get ME back, somebody who I lost touch with about 5 years ago. |