BPDFamily.com

Good Afternoon,

     I just wanted to thank everyone for their support and I'm hoping the waters will be as calm for the next four years as they have been this past year.  My D14 is doing better in school and is becoming a responsible, caring young adult.  She talks with me about her life, even when the subject is uncomfortable.  I am doing my best to support her in becoming an adult and supporting her interests (martial arts, band, volunteer work, digital animation, driving/high school in the fall, getting her first debit card with checking account this month).  I've also been able to provide her with ways to do things on her own, so I won't keep reminding her.

     I still don't get very much notice/communication with her dad about when he wants to spend time with her or when he moves, but I'm starting to see a pattern and am less worried about her visits.  She is in a better mood when she comes back and she is sharing more because she wants to share (I think she's realizing that I don't punish her for things she does with her dad, like he says I will).  I'm still waiting for her to realize what's happening with her dad and share with me, but I'm really feeling like the threat of complete alienation/D14 hiding abuse has passed.  Side note: her dad's apartment has a pool, so I think she's going to like swimming again and I'm excited because I love swimming!

     I have been offering advice to others here, but I feel that I could never repay the advice and comments given to me.  When I first joined this site, I would not send emails to my ex without a counselor's assistance.  I exhausted myself with worry and thought my daughter would be alienated from me before we ever got to a good place.  Even though this site is life changing, I would like to take a break to focus more on my family, my health, my career and focus less on the problems with my ex.  I'm probably jinxing myself, but I believe that my relationship with my daughter is the best it's ever been since her dad painted me black years ago.  I would like to say one last thing and keep things positive.  For those in the thick of it:  Take care of yourself first and continue being awesome parents!     

Hi ambivalentmom,

If you read this, good luck to you and your D14 

And thank you for the well wishes.

 :)

LnL

This is a great success story and I hope you come back at some point to share and update.  Hugs to you and your daughter 

Sounds like you and your daughter have experienced quite a bit of growth... .Good for you both!

Wishing you both well going forward 

Panda39