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Title: How do you keep from burning out? Post by: WhoMe51 on February 10, 2017, 06:17:31 PM I was wanting to ask those who have long term relationships with pwBPD how you keep yourself from burning out? I know that you have to set boundaries. I know that you have to have time for yourself and the things you like to do. My biggest problem is that things seem to be going good and then out of the blue, she will start an argument about anything. I usually don't engage in these arguments. I just listen and validate where I need to validate. I used to react and it would turn into a big mess. It happened just a few minutes ago. We were talking on the phone and she got upset at something that happened this time last year. I listened as usual and I guess I didn't respond like she thought I should have. She got upset and told me that I should have told her I was sorry. This kind of behavior gets so old to me. What I wanted to ask her was, ":)o you ever think about my feelings?" But I know the answer to this. I guess I just feel burned out and I really don't know what to do with what I feel?
Title: Re: How do you keep from burning out? Post by: joeramabeme on February 11, 2017, 12:50:31 PM I guess I just feel burned out and I really don't know what to do with what I feel? Do you currently have a self-care routine of any kind? For example, seeing a therapist, talking with a caring friend, quiet time in the morning and/or evening, exercise etc. It is really important to have some intentional times which you are going to practice self-care b/c if it is not planned, it will not happen - especially when things get difficult. Sounds as if you understand the dynamics, and now need to set some personal boundaries for your own care. What do you think>? Title: Re: How do you keep from burning out? Post by: bananas2 on February 11, 2017, 07:42:25 PM It is great that you don't engage in her arguments. You have truly lived and learned. I wish I had that much control (but I'm working on it).
I very much agree with joeramabeme about self-care. Self-care is not only important, but absolutely critical for your own mental health. It took me years of therapy to radically accept that my BPD SO is never going to care for my emotional needs bc he is too consumed with his own. That leaves us to care for ourselves, but we don't have to do it alone. For me, my self-care involves making time EVERY day for what works for me to meet my emotional/psychological needs. For me, that means daily time exercising, talking to friends, reading funny articles, watching funny videos, relaxation breathing, and most importantly, having a positive self-dialogue & affirmations. Find a self-care routine that works for you, make time daily for it, and stick to it. I wish you the best & look fwd to reading about what you decide to do. |iiii |