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I almost don't even want to mention this, as I'm almost scared it may "jinx" it, but we had a hugely positive step last night in which my BPD partner showed *drumroll please* genuine empathy.

It came at the tail end of yet another massive outburst in regards to the condition of our just-moved-into home and how he does "all the work". I struggle many days with debilitating depression. Just getting out of bed to care for my young children is a chore in itself, let alone keeping up with his high energy to-do list around our new home. Validation wasn't an option, I was at the end of my rope in exhaustion and ready to give up. I told him exactly how I felt, walked away near in tears, figuring the relationship was over at this point. He initiated conversation a half hour later, with a heartfelt apology, genuine concern for my well-being and talked late into the night for once about MY feelings. A first for us.

Dare I wish we may continue on this path of open lines of communication... .

Congratulations! Those rare moments are amazing.

Do you think he responded that way because you stood up for yourself and were honest with him about how you felt?

 |iiii  pwBPD can be amazingly empathetic! It just tends to be short-lived. They struggle to handle their own emotions so much they can hardly handle anyone else's. Still, they can surprise us. I once exploded into tears over a computer virus at a time my bf was suicidally depressed. I was so overwhelmed with my own problem I didn't have it in me to validate his. And I didn't care if he got mad. I was expecting him to add drama to my dilemma, but instead he was warm, sweet, positive, encouraging, offering to help.

They do allow us our 'moments' from time to time. Perhaps it makes them feel less alone to see others suffering? Or maybe it gets them away from their own problems temporarily? Mine has been amazingly comforting at times, but it doesn't last long. He expects me to bounce back quickly to get back to his issues. By the next day, it was all woe is him again. So enjoy the empathy while it lasts!