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Title: Divorce Day Today Post by: VeganButEatMyMea on February 21, 2017, 08:45:42 AM Our divorce hearing is in 4 hours. 2 texts from her today to confirm the location. I know this is the best thing for me, getting her out of my life but I'm going through several emotions today that I haven't felt since d-day when she told me she cheated on me and left me and has never tried to come back... .sheesh, just writing that, and what she's done to me has made me feel better about today.
Today is the first of very many big steps to come. I accepted a job in Arizona and will be moving next month. I don't know anyone there so it's going to be a great opportunity to start building new memories without her, I won't have to see her all the time and she won't be right down the road so I think this will exponentially speed up my recovery. Right now nomatter where I go there is a memory of her. On a negative note I'm losing my son who will stay with her (he currently lives with me given my RO against her because of the DV charge on her for assaulting me). Now I can't take care of him like she can given I work more than her and I'm moving to an area that I know nobody (no support system)... .but this unbelievably breaks my heart. However I know I can't stay with this toxic woman just for his sake. Ok. Morning rant over. Wish me luck today. Title: Re: Divorce Day Today Post by: infjEpic on February 21, 2017, 10:47:00 AM I'm sure you are going to have very mixed emotions.
It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. All of your past posts are in Detaching... .You could try consult the Family Law forum for further advice: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=10.0 In any case, please update us with your progress. We are here for you, Good Luck Pal Title: Re: Divorce Day Today Post by: LightnessOfBeing on February 21, 2017, 05:51:13 PM I hope that this day was, on balance, a good one for you. As infjEpic said, no doubt there's mixed emotions. But leaving can be such a healthy choice, and divorce a kind of milestone day on the road to closure. It does sound like the move to Arizona comes with real benefits toward healing, distance/new environs can be a great thing.
Leaving an unhealthy relationship can be such a struggle, I have great admiration for everyone here on the boards who managed to do it. Cheers to you |iiii Title: edinboro Post by: VeganButEatMyMea on February 21, 2017, 09:29:29 PM Thank you both for your replies. Everything went smoothly today for me.
The saddest part for me was watching the other divorcing couples go up and announce the date of their marriage: 1997, 1983, 2001, 1989... .then us August 2016. Thankfully she was stupid enough to assault me and get arrested on d-day, otherwise I'd have to wait the state mandated 12 months legally separated before filing for divorce. The master made me recount the night she assaulted me (in front of 40 or so lawyers/people getting divorced/family I assume) in graphic detail, and at the end recommend that divorce be granted under cruelty. Waiting on the judge to finalize it. If I have any legal questions I'll post in the family law section, thanks again. Title: Re: Divorce Day Today Post by: Lucky Jim on February 22, 2017, 09:32:22 AM Hey Vegan, Sounds like it went well, all thing considered. Sorry you had to relate graphic details in front of the Master and the lawyers, but they've all heard it before so no need to be self-conscious. Perhaps the number of other couples getting divorced will serve to remind you that you are not alone and there are many others for whom marriage just doesn't work out. It's OK. Divorce is hard on everyone, no doubt, but you've got a lot to look forward to, in my view.
LuckyJim |