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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: panhead67 on February 24, 2017, 04:50:33 AM



Title: anxiety and fear
Post by: panhead67 on February 24, 2017, 04:50:33 AM
Hi,
I gave my 2 week notice at work, because of what working in close contact with my ex has been doing to me.I dug deep for having courage to do this.
Also, my boss belittles me and vents rage and anger at me at work.(actually shakes and spits)He then chuckles about it in front of my coworkers. Time to go? Yes!
I have been hit with fear and anxiety upon awaking in the mornings. Everything I'm feeling is normal.I think I may be anticipating separation anxiety from my ex.You know the pain when extracting yourself from the attachment of your borderline?I fear  this pain. Also, these life patterns I am a part of and becoming aware of, are in my personal and professional life. I am doing alot of work, learning what my rights are, as I grew up without any. I feel like I need support now.thank you guys, for being here.


Title: Re: anxiety and fear
Post by: marti644 on February 24, 2017, 05:01:04 AM
Panhead,

It takes great courage to do what you have done. I had the strange experience of being painted black by a co-worker who I now know is diagnosed BPD and then had my BPD-ex leave two months later. I made the same decision you did. Packed up my office yesterday and won't ever look back. Full NC for both of them with no possibility of any recycling or reconnect. I deserved to be treated better. I am realizing more and more the courage I find to stand up for myself is growing. Love yourself first is what I am learning. A scary but exciting prospect isn't it? Hang in there it only gets better from here you made the decision and now you can begin learning about yourself and move on. We're here for you!


Title: Re: anxiety and fear
Post by: earlyL on February 24, 2017, 05:28:36 AM
Well done for making that decision, you really have done the right thing. The anxiety and fear is normal, it will get easier. I work with my ex and have two weeks to go, I totally understand the pain you are going through, it is horrific. I cannot wait to go NC and get my life back. Thank you for sharing your post, it helps me to know there is light at the end of the tunnel as well. As Marti644 said we are here for you.


Title: Re: anxiety and fear
Post by: stimpy on February 24, 2017, 05:19:09 PM
Well done Panhead.

Sounds like you are setting your boundaries and creating the standards by which you expect to be treated. Good for you.

With this comes the next steps to building your self esteem and developing yourself and moving onto a new chapter in your life.

The anxiety is normal, it is the brain working a little harder because it knows that there are challenges ahead, but meeting and seeing your way through those challenges, make us who we are.

Good luck!