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My BPD girlfriend(fiancee) aborted the baby and cut me off.
She posted on the social network told everyone that I hit her and angry with her all the time. She even posted the love letter I wrote to her, said she can’t forgive me.
However, I only pushed her head after she thrown the milk all over in my car. I didn’t really hit her.
She said the surgery took 5 hours, she was very painful and she is tired, she doesn’t want to see me anymore.
I think she blames all those pain and the surgery to me, she thinks that was all my fault.
However, it was not, I wanted to marry her to keep the baby.
She always said she doesn't want the baby, so finally I agreed. After the surgery she hates me.

Now she cuts me off and keep silence.
She said she broke up with me and move to somewhere else.

It has been 3 months.

What should I do? I still love her, I didn’t know she is BPD before.
What should I do with all her stuff? Return to her?
What should I do with the engagement ring?
Why she doesn’t return the ring to me, is she waiting me to ask the ring back? but she cut me off, I have no way to contact her.

I've been tried everything that I can, but she paint everything to black.
i.e.
I wrote love letters, she hates it because somebody used to wrote letters to abandon her. This triggers her, that's why she posted my love letter on facebook.
I can't send her flowers because she hates flowers, I guess some ex sent her flowers all the time.
I can't send her food, I can't write emails because some guy used to do that and she hates it.

Hi Duang!, this must be incredibly painful and I’m so sorry  . It doesn’t seem as if she wants any contact from you right now and you mention having no way to contact her. There seems to be little you can do, but give her time and maybe she’ll contact you later. What is it you’d like to say to her? Have you got any support, family, or a therapist that can help you through this right now?

There are so many misunderstandings, I really want to explain.
I tried to see her at her work couple times, she didn't talk to me at all and called some friends to take me away.
I tried to send some food or drinks to her and she moved to a different apartment.
The more I tried the further I push her away... .
I'm trying to heal myself, but just can't stop thinking about her.

It’s hard when you want to clear up misunderstandings and explain, but if she doesn’t want to, or isn’t ready to listen right now, there is little you can do. The best thing to do would be to back right away, give her time and space and maybe she’ll come around. Would it help if you wrote what you want to say down on paper? Get it all out? I’ve tried that in the past and it’s really helped.

Because she keeps silence so the more I tried to clear up the misunderstandings the more misunderstandings I make to her.
I was trying to send her SMS with different numbers, she told me we are over, but never ask her stuff and say returning my the ring.
If she is totally done with me, why keep the ring... .I don't understand this part.

I used to write a love letter, she took that as an offense... .I think her ex used to write a letter to break up with her which triggered her.
I think she probably told all her friends that I'm a bad guy and hit her when she was pregnant.

Hi Duang!,  

*welcome*

I'm so sorry. I'm sure that you have a lot of things running through mind and you're trying to process some of it to get some answers. I'm sure it wasn't an easy choice for her and she'll displace that discomfort on you, you're not responsible for her feelings. That being said, it's difficult for her too, even if she may not show it. Now is not the time or place to sort this out, if she contacts you, i'd show some sympathy if it's about her loss, don't come on too strong. This is an opportune time for you to do some self work. What do you think?

An abortion is a huge trauma for a women. A person with BPD traits will struggle more than most. This is one of those things that's easy (not fair) to blame on the partner. It's a very difficult situation.

If she has been rejecting your communication for 12 weeks, it's time to stop - at least for a little bit.

Can you tell us more about the relationship. We would really need to know more about how long our were together, how the relationship evolved, what discussions did you have about children, and what has transpired since the split.

Talk to us more.