BPDFamily.com

Hey,

this site is helping me to be more helpful, understanding and communicate better. Also to take care of myself a bit more. But I get the feeling from most posts that the pwBPD won't get better, we just have to handle them better... .

And I wonder if you know a book, or texts, videos... .That would help them feel a bit optimistic about their lives, that will tell them it can be a life worth living. That will explain the thought processes and feelings without making it sound like they are bad people. Like a self help book, but specific for borderline.

My SO just got the diagnosis 2 months ago and then her therapist fell sick, and we don't know when she is coming back. Kind of left her with the burden and no tools. She feels crushed by the weight of being 'incurable', and living a life that she can't stand while hurting everyone around her. She fears losing all that makes her herself and having to become another person in order to "fix herself". She fails to see how that can be worth it.

Any recommendations?

Hey aJoeBPD81:   

I'm so sorry your wife's therapist has been ill.  One key thing for pwBPD is for them to learn ways to tame their emotions and find ways to self-soothe.  DBT is a type of therapy that is frequently used for people with DBT.  There is a lot of material to choose from in the links below.

The first link below leads to a self-help DBT website.  The 2nd link, DBT Skills Training, relates to a DBT book, ":)BT Skills Training Workshop and Handouts".  It makes some lessons available to the public.  It appears as if the lessons could stand alone, without the book.  If you explore the website, there is mention of a Facebook group, and perhaps a waiting list.  I'd think it might be best to jump in without the Facebook option, but it might be something to consider exploring.

DBT SELF-HELP WEBSITE:
www.dbtselfhelp.com

• Improve the Moment Worksheet
  www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/improve_the_moment_worksheet.html
• Panic List
  www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/panic_list.html
• Finding Alternate Thoughts
  www.dbtselfhelp.com/FindingAlternativeThoughts.pdf

DBT SKILLS TRAINING
https://dbtskillstraining.wordpress.com/

Books about BPD's who recovered:

The Buddha & The Borderline - Kiera Van Gelder (E-Book and Paperback)

Get Me Out of Here - Rachel Reiland (Used Paperback only)

You might be interested in reading a couple of books yourself. "Feeling Good", by David D. Burns, MD is reviewed in the Learning Center, Book Section on this website.  My therapist recommended  The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. I found that I could access some online material to assist with participating in some exercises suggested in The Happiness Trap. Perhaps, you and you wife might be able to do something like the mindfulness exercise together.

EXERCISES - FROM BOOK" THE HAPPINESS TRAP"
https://www.thehappinesstrap.com/free_resources

Thanks a lot. I'll be checking all of them.