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Title: Borderline spouse Post by: BPDSpouse1027 on April 28, 2017, 08:48:36 AM --Edit-- I put this post in the wrong place. My husband and I are still married and are currently parenting our 12yo son. Please move post if possible. Thanks.
Hello! I'm not sure how I found this board but am very glad I did. I am feeling beat down and depressed. My husband and I have been married for 13 years now and while he is a very caring individual, he's very intense and has very black and white thinking. Things are his way or no way and if they aren't his way, the whole house feels it. He turns in on himself often times and blames himself for a lot (which is apparently called quiet BPD) but I don't feel there's anything quiet about it. While he's never been violent or put me down verbally, the fact that he makes me feel like I'm crazy is becoming something I can no longer deal with. Small things like what time we decided our son should go to bed, what I said last week about a bill that was due, etc etc. As I am writing this , it all seems so trivial but I literally feel like I'm losing it! I am currently in therapy, but mainly for an eating disorder, which my husband encouraged me to do, but I swear, it's like he has encouraged me to go to therapy so he can validate the fact that I "have issues". We get into discussions and they always turn into arguments. It starts out calm then as soon as he's challenged or I want to change something, he gets an angry look on his face. I feed off his emotions and get upset, then the whole situation is flipped around and he says that he doesn't want to argue with me and didn't mean for me to get so upset (insinuating that I'm the angry one). Even my son (12) is starting to call me an "angry elf". Anyway, I'm not sure this is an introduction per se, but there it all is. Out loud. I would appreciate some help, some discussion, to help me sort this all out. Thanks in advance. Title: Re: Borderline spouse Post by: Turkish on April 30, 2017, 11:24:16 PM My ex "sent" me to therapy, as she did her subsequent husband. Maybe we have issues which require this, maybe we don't, but I feel for you in that it feels like an accusation or excuse while they may go on their merry ways being whom they are.
If you're in therapy for an eating disorder, have you shared with your T the struggles with your H and your son? |