BPDFamily.com

Male, 58 in a LDR (long distance relationship ) with a wonderful person who has BPD.
The relationship has been steady for nearly two years and we last spent time together in March, probably the last meeting before we eventually move in together.
She had events that lasted not more than a few hours in the past and we always made up, her apologising for her behaviour afterwards and myself accepting
The relationship broke up last week after a minor arguement  about a recycle trashcan. She spiralled and looped in rage for 6 days solid, yelling, cursing, calling me bad names and then suddenly seemed have a lucid moment. She locked herself out of her house and panicked, and had another event, culminating in her calling me names and screaming at me down the phone. She eventually calmed and sent a loving text message before bed and the next morning she was in rage again, eventually at the end of the day calling my family, work and friends and make accusations again and disparaging  comments about me, and finally blocking me on all social media, phone calls and threatening  that if I contacted her or her family that she would make my life hell.
In her lucid  moments she is sweet and wonderful and devoted. Her 'events" normally last less than a few hours. This time she threw everything but the kitchen sink at me for 6 solid days from 6 am to midnight leaving me an emotional wreck.
I thought I knew a lot about BPD but I think I need help and support too,.

*welcome*

I'm sorry for what you're going through but glad you have found a community where many of us have been through similar experiences, and we can learn from each other. You will see from reading the posts here that you are far from alone in the types of things that you have and are experiencing.

How did you respond to her six days of raging? There are communication skills that will minimize the behaviour of someone with BPD and these have proven successful for some of the members here.

I agree that learning more about BPD will be a benefit to you. There are good resources here and assistance finding them. Keep posting - it is very therapeutic, and you will be greeted by so many people with circumstanced similar to your own. You will be amazed. Take care of yourself.

Id already read a lot of articles and helpful articles about BPD. So I was genuinly gentle and understanding.  Told her Ioved her, and that I knew that she wasnt in charge of the rage, and that it was all going to be ok. I was empathic, explaining that i understand all of her anxieties and her issues. As we are in a long distance relationship i tried to explain that my hands were tied for the moment regarding my transfer thru my job etc (one of her issues in every episode she has) Sadly that sent her spiralling even more and the irrationality of it was overwhelming. Her last message, angry, raging and spiralling was three days ago. At the time of the locking herself out of her house, i contacted her best friend who also works with her to see if ger and her fiance could help her get access to her house, and i contacted her eldest son for the same reason. Both people contacted her and the last message to me three dayss ago was to NEVER contact her family or friends u ness I wanted repercussions. Ive not been in touch since, waiting for her to come out of her rage and hopefully seeing what happened  and contacting me.