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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Amartin47 on May 18, 2017, 04:52:53 PM



Title: My gf was diagnosed a few months ago
Post by: Amartin47 on May 18, 2017, 04:52:53 PM
Oddly enough this is my first real relationship with a women. We met when I was 24 and were basicly just a fling. she started a relationship with another man and stopped talking to me. But a few months later she got into contact with me And long story short we stared dating. Things were going well except for her constant seeking of attention. We started as an open relationship. I told her as the primary I wanted her to wear condoms (for my and her safety) turns out the first time she hooked up with somone they didn't strap up. It was devastating to me. I took it like she cheated, it was my only rule. (At least she was honest and told me the day after) after this incident we closed the relationship to just us. Everything was going great for a few months. She moved out of her house and into mine things were perfect. But then she had a sudden run with depression (she always knew she had BPD but never properly diagnosed) she checked herself into a local hospital where they put her on suicide watch for 2 days ( she wasn't suicidal just needed help) they put her on Zoloft and set her up with a weekly councilor(who formally diagnosed BPD). A month into this she approaches me about opening our relationship with a very close childhood friend of mine which was super awkward for both of us. We tried it for one night and both decided it was going to complicate our friendship. She took this very hard. Soon after she started talking to an ex. A few days ago when she was visiting her grandparents she met with this ex and hooked up. She again confessed to me the day after. After confessing how this makes me feel she went out with some friends on a drinking binge and had a very emotion discussion with me about how she's a slut and she can't change blah blah very drunk. Today she told me that I should just dump her because she read some forums on here about how she will never change and that I should run away. The problem is I really love this girl. She's got a lot of bad people in her life. I guess I'm white knighting her. I can't just throw her out . I need advice. All of my friends will just tell me to dump her. Maybe that's what I should do. I'm very torn.  I feel that her being self aware could mean she has a chance of getting better but on the other hand it's only been a year maybe I should take the bandaid approach and rip it off hard and fast.


Title: Re: My gf was diagnosed a few months ago
Post by: Mutt on May 18, 2017, 07:50:13 PM
Hi Amartin47,

*welcome*

I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily, I'm glad that you decided to join us. The forum posts that she read are not one size fits all, maybe the poster was just coming out of a r/s and feeling raw and was posting out of anger. You can recover from BPD, there is treatment for it, aside from the BPD, how long have you known her? What do you feel like doing?


Title: Re: My gf was diagnosed a few months ago
Post by: Amartin47 on May 18, 2017, 08:48:00 PM
I've known her just over a year now. She's 21 I'm 25. I feel like leaving her is the worst option for her. I personally have mixed emotions. I've found that she's very manipulating. I want to keep her but idk if she's just ___ing with my head. It feels like she's trying to get better, I'm the reason she went to get help


Title: Re: My gf was diagnosed a few months ago
Post by: Mutt on May 18, 2017, 08:55:43 PM
Family and friends care, what they're suggesting is that you set boundaries and not let her into your world, I suggest let her in for a little while, granted people make mistakes, give them a chance, if things don't work out then you can set stricter boundaries and not let her into your world anymore, if that's what you choose to do.


Title: Re: My gf was diagnosed a few months ago
Post by: Amartin47 on May 18, 2017, 10:41:53 PM
I accidentally posted this in the wrong section my mistake