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Been with her for nearly a year now and sadly it seems we'll be missing our one year anniversary.
Last night I said to her I'm here for her no matter what, but if her feelings for me have changed, she'll have to be honest with me. Then she says that they have and perhaps that's the reason she's been so distant lately. I'm unsure if this is the BPD letting her have less feelings for me or she genuinely doesn't feel the same.
So I told her I'm going to break up with her, give ourselves space to work on ourselves and if she wants to work things out, I'm always here.

I want to be with her very much. Whether now, a few months or maybe a year or two - reckon I did a good thing? She seemed very blunt with me and didn't respond to me at all once I mentioned a break up.

Appreciate your answers.
S

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you have ways to take care of yourself on this hard time.

I wish I could tell you what's going on in her head, but probably not even her knows that.

I can tell you that there have been times when I was absolutely sure that she (my GF) couldn't posibly love me. Other times she has told me directly that she hates me. And many times I've lost hope. I know that if she didn't have kids (who love me as their dad) she would have left on impulse. Then we have a couple of good days and I almost forgot why the previoud crisis happened. And then I'm sure she loves me. Is is the same as the first few months? I don't think many people live that phase for long, BPD or not.

I hope you made sure to tell her what you want. And that you are open to talk, and that you want to do what it takes to make it work. That she doesn't have to stay appart because she thinks she can't never show you that she loves you, or because she wants someone better for you, or because she thinks you would be better off without her. Those things go through her brain.

Maybe you can tell her that you think that this relationship is putting presure on her, and you want her to feel more comfortable. But that what you want is to be with her, making her as happy as you can. And that one of the things that you can do is give her space when she needs it.

I hope you get to talk, and that you feel more at ease with your decission. Good luck.

Hey Joe,
Thanks for the lovely reply. Really gave me more insight on what to tell her as I feel I repeat myself to her a hell of a lot of the same thing, but now I have some more reassuring kind words to tell her :)
For now, I guess I'm giving her that space that she wants and I did tell her I am here and won't be moving on (even though she keeps saying I should and shouldn't wait around for her).

The first few months after we got back together after the first breakup, it was clear she was/still is madly in love with me, saying she does want to be with me even though she feels she's hurting me and "holding me back", which she far from is. Since without her I wouldn't have had the confidence to get the great job that I have right now.
My gut is telling me she still does love me and her feelings haven't changed and she's just pushing me away again. My idea or 'plan' was to break up with her to show her I can be strong on my own if I have to, and also to get her to want me more than she can admit to. Unsure if this was a good plan? She hasn't blocked me on all social media yet, so I guess that's a good sign