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Title: BPD Wife Post by: mrpatience69 on June 11, 2017, 08:49:08 AM Hello everyone
English isn't my first language so I apologize for my mistake in advance :-) I've been married with my wife for 15 years now. This is my first marriage and my wife's third. We have two boys age 7 and 8. It is very difficult to describe the last 15 years without writing a book. Early in our marriage my wife had several affairs. This resulted into the most painful experience of my life beside the loss of family members. We ended up going to a see psychologist/therapist. After a series of grueling visits together and separately my wife told me that the psychologist diagnosed her with attachment disorder. Her mother left her and 3 other siblings when my wife was 2 1/2 years old. She then was more or less raised raised by her hard working dad and a dozen different caregivers. She received extensive EMDR therapy and after one year our relationship started to normalize. I ended up also receiving EMDR therapy because I had a really hard processing my wife's behavior during the affairs. I obviously was hoping that the therapy at that time would "fix" her for good. The last 10 years of our relationship/marriage was a wild roller coaster ride. Her emotions of feeling sad and empty completely controlling our relationship. No matter how hard I work at things or how hard I work to financially provide for the family she is not "receiving" anything. It feels there is nothing I can do right and I am constantly walking on eggshells. I have been seeing a therapist for myself and he suggested that my wife my be suffering from BPD. This is why I ended posting here. Title: Re: BPD Wife Post by: Tattered Heart on June 14, 2017, 08:31:16 AM Hi mrpatience,
SOrry to hear that you have been going through such a difficult time. Sounds like you wife had quite a hard childhood. HOpefully you will be able to find some answers here. Sometimes just putting a name to what is going on can help, but that doesn't fix things. Unfortunately there is no cure for BPD. It just takes a lot of time in therapy and behavior modification. We have many links on the right side of the page that can help you begin to learn more about your relationship with a pwBPD, how you can respond to her better, and how to take care of yourself so that you don't have to walk on eggshells anymore. |